To Everything There Is A Season.....

Precious Moments

2009-03-10T19:57:00.000-07:00

In April we will have had Ava for a full year. I just simply can't believe it. The time has flown. And she has grown and changed us and our family forever. I look at these pictures my sister took on Sunday and they make me cry. I can't express the joy that fills me from my head down to my littlest toe when it comes to that little precious creature God has given to us. God chose us for Ava and Ava for us and I can't imagine a better fit. A match made in Heaven- literally. I don't know if a day has gone by that Brian and I haven't said something like, "didn't we get the best little girl ever?" to each other.. She makes us smile and laugh EVERY DAY! Today she was kissing her car seat on the way home and then she'd laugh, making me laugh. She's a character.

When I look at these pictures my heart fills with emotions. I want so much for her. Mostly I just want her to feel as free and joyful as she looks in these pictures for the rest of her life. I pray she will find that kind of joy and peace that comes from Christ alone and in knowing who she is in Him.

Why was I of all people in the world chosen by such a gracious God to raise this rare gem? I wonder that all the time. I'll never know, but I'm thankful beyond words. I waited and waited for so long to be blessed with a child. I didn't know that I was waiting for such a special child. I can say with ALL my heart, she was worth the wait.

The Joy of Fall

2008-10-02T12:47:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me well know that I LOVE FALL. It is my absolute favorite season. And it just so happens that in the Fall, Brian and I have much to celebrate. October is the Dempsey month as my sister-in-law Ashlie says. Brian's birthday is on the 19th, mine is the 20th and now we have Ava whose birthday is the 25th! And as if that wasn't enough, we also celebrate our anniversary on the 27th. So there ya have it, all that celebrating in one week of one month. But that's not the reason I love the Fall, although it adds some fun. I love the Fall b/c it's the most Beautiful of all seasons. It's as if God's glory is on display everywhere you look. A gorgeous bright red, orange or yellow tree literally takes my breath away and I just have to stare at its beauty. There is an older post of mine that I wrote one Fall about the beauty that surrounds us and when we are beholding it and we are in such awe of it, beholding it just doesn't feel like enough. We want to step into and be IN it, a part of it. I didn't actually write that, C.s. Lewis did. But I understood when I read it EXACTLY what he was talking about. But the beauty really is the glory of God. It is His creation, His creativity, it's HIM. He is this beautiful. Oh, I can't wait to see Him and Heaven. If what I see on this dying, decaying world is this gorgeous and glorious, what will that be like?

So one of my all time dreams as a woman without a child was that one day I would take my child to a pumpkin patch. Sounds funny, but I think the women out there would understand this. It's something moms do and I felt left out of those types of things and looked forward to the day that I could that with my own. Well, as Brian and I drove home from an event we attended last Saturday, I saw a church that already had their pumpkins out and I said, "we have to take Ava!! It's my dream to do this!" Brian said after we got home that he thought I was joking about that and then he realized that it was no joke! I was so excited and we got some great pictures of Ava. The weather was perfect for it. I do have to add that right before we went to take the pumpkin pictures Ava had a few tastes of our blue rasberry italian ice treat. So if you think her lips look a tad bit blue, you're right, and now you know why!

I am looking forward to the day she will remember these events and they can become happy memories for her as well. So I am happy and so pleased to say that once again, another dream fulfilled. Thank you to my Heavenly Father who has blessed me with such a thing.

11 Months Old today...

2008-09-24T22:04:00.000-07:00

Where does the time go?!?!? I can't believe Ava is 11 months old. CANNOT BELIEVE IT. One month and she'll be 1 year old. Whew. Time flies.

Ava is doing wonderfully and is still as sweet as ever. Those top teeth are really showing now but Ava has not acted like they bother her at all. They are cute, let me tell ya. Looks like they are big 'ens and they will have a good space between them...oh, just too cute. I was thinking today that now I understand why SOME parents keep the baby teeth when they fall out...they are just too precious. I'll probably be one of those parents. Sounds gross I know. I never thought I'd be the one to do that but....

Ava has taken a couple of steps here and there. Her balance is not great yet, but she keeps tryin'. Crawling gets the job done so what's the rush?! Everytime I let her crawl around freely she heads straight for the kitchen. She loves to open the cabinet doors now and peek inside. She especially loves the cabinet with the snacks in it---Just like her mama! And she still loves the dog dishes. One afternoon I put up the usual blockade to the kitchen and I stepped into the garage for a moment to look for something. I heard a peculiar sound and I peeked in only to see that she had crawled over the baracade and made her way to the dog dishes and had splashed all the water out!! She was sitting in a pool of water. Soaked. But it was so cute I had to grab the camera and snap a few. And don't worry, she didn't actually drink out of the bowl--I grabbed it before she had the chance. That would have been quite disgusting!

One thing I always am telling Brian: "she is tenacious!" She wants to get to something and she makes a way. I've got to get some gates up. That's probably the only way to keep her out of the kitchen unless she is in the playpen. Thankfully she doesn't mind the playpen.
She has been the biggest joy of our lives and we realize just how blessed we are to have her with us. A day hasn't gone by that she hasn't made us smile and laugh.

More pics from September:
This is how I found her watching Sesame Street:

She likes for the hardware on this particular piece of furniture to be "up" so she takes the time to flip them!

Those amazing cheeks

Her favorite room in the house--the kitchen!

I'm Back!

2008-09-10T13:15:00.000-07:00

I guess you could say I've been on a blogging sabatical. I've missed blogging and everyday I'd think, "I need to go blog!" But I never got around to it. So many exciting and fun things have happened since the last update.

First and foremost we had Ava's stateside adoption at the courthouse. It's very short and simple but meaningful. We could have invited folks but I knew there wouldn't be a whole lot to it. When we went into the judge's office Ava got very quiet, it was cute, like she knew that it was appropriate behavior for the occasion. As we raised our right hand and accepted the responsibility of raising this little girl, I think Brian and I both were a little emotional. No tears were shed but we came close! We went downstairs to do some paperwork in the clerk's office and the girls down there knew Brian and that we were adopting so they were so excited to meet Ava. She was carried around the whole office to meet everyone! It was a fun morning. So now she can get her birth certificate and her social security number and start paying taxes. Woohoo! After the precedings Brian's office gave us a small reception and that was nice. Nothing like cake at 10am!!

Ava has started pulling up on everything and she can even stand on her own for 5 seconds or so. She's even figured out how to go up the stairs at my sister's house. Lucky for them. She is very coordinated and has great balance, most of the time anyway. We've had a few bumps to the head lately. She has become quite vocal and loves to hear herself yell and shriek....it's such a lovely sound :). She is saying "da da" and something that sounds like "night night" without the "t" on the end. She has said "ma ma" but not in reference to me. We're working on that! She has just started cutting her top teeth this week. Thankfully it doesn't seem to be bothering her. She had her 9 month appointment last week even though she is a little over 10 months now--that's how backed up the dr.'s office is. She weighs 17.8 pounds and is 28 inches long. She had 3 shots which were just terrible for her, so sad. But she was quickly over it. We got in the car and she fell asleep right away. Very traumatic afternoon you know.

We visited mom and dad's this past weekend. Everyone came over on Saturday and Sunday. There were kids everywhere! Which is wonderful and fun but LOUD. We had a fun time except that Ava decided she was going to give us a run for our money come bedtime. That girl would not sleep by herself in her crib even if we were in the room with her. Nope, she wanted to be held--all night. So, that meant that one of us was awake with her at some point in the night. We tried to take shifts. So we were pretty exhausted Saturday and then that night was pretty much more of the same. But we got home, put her in her crib, and guess what...nothin'. She cried maybe 20 seconds and drifted off and slept all night. I can't figure out what the issue is at mom and dad's. We're going to try to put her in a room upstairs next visit. We'll just experiment with different things and see what works. But she really didn't sleep great in New York either, or in the hotels we've visited. SO maybe it's just that she can tell she's not in her own bed and she doesn't like it. If that's it then there's not much we can do until she grows out of this phase. One good thing about the nighttime problem, she is awfully cuddly. That's not enough to make me want to wake up at 3am every night to hold her though!!

She crawled everywhere at mom and dad's. She is a girl on the go. I don't think it will be long before she's walking. But she's surprised me before and she could again.

This is the cutest thing: Brian was holding her one day and she noticed her picture on the fridge and got very excited. I got some great shots of her pointing to her referral photo. The funny thing is that in one of the pictures she is sticking out her tongue JUST LIKE she is in the referral picture! I hope you can all see it because it is the CUTEST thing!!!

Summer Fun With Family

2008-08-13T19:27:00.001-07:00

The past couple of weekends we have been out of town doing some fun summer things. The first weekend we spent with my sister and her family enjoying their neighborhood pool. This was Ava's first time in a pool, and we thought she'd enjoy it since she like the bath so much. She just laid back in our arms and seemed to relax and would kick her feet to splash. She didn't even cry when the water got in her eyes--typical Ava. We went to the pool after 4 so it was still really hot, but the sun wasn't so bright. She was so adorable in her bathing suit and hat even though she kept trying to pull it off, her hat that is. I had sunglasses for her too but forgot them at the house. I think the kids had fun with her too. They love their cousin and she enjoys watching them play. Jack is never still and she gets a kick out of that. He IS fun to watch although it's tiring. I wish I had a drop of his energy! Anyway, I got some fun pictures:

This past weekend, we went up to New York for a visit with Brian's family. They live in Oswego and the weather there was like Fall here! I loved it! It was a little tease though and now I'm so ready for the summer to be over. I'm ready for the fall weather and decorations. But I digress....so we decided sort of last minute to take a trip to visit. Brian's sisters still hadn't seen Ava and we knew Jen's kids were anxious to see her too. So we took the opportunity and flew up Friday. You would think after a 35 hour trip home with her from Vietnam that 2 hours would be easy, but I was still anxious about it. She gets fussy when she's sleepy and can't get comfortable, and we happened to land a flight that took off at her nap time. So I knew it would be touchy. Fortunately, she fell asleep in my lap for a few minutes in the airport. So when we got on the plane she woke up but was happy for the flight.

We had such a fun visit with everyone there. We were so tired when we got there but the excitement of the day rejuvenated us for the evening. She had a slightly difficult night but Grandma was the big hero that night and came to comfort her since mom and dad didn't hear her crying. I felt like a terrible mother! But she quickly calmed down after a bottle and went back to sleep. The next day we just hung out and everyone watched Ava crawl and clap and do all her little tricks. We took a walk outside with the kids and she had her first feel of grass under her bare feet (we don't do that at home b/c of the fire ants here that we can't seem to get rid of-ouch!). It was a gorgeous day. Brian was excited about seeing Grissom again, and I was too. He's such a fun dog and he has found himself a perfect family I tell ya. He's one lucky dog that one. Those kids love him and treat him well. They wear him out from playing every day from what I here. Every time Ava was on the ground he wanted to lick her feet and hands and if possible, her face. And if ever he got to her before anyone could intercept him, she was lovin' it!!! She got such a kick out of that dog.

We left Sunday around 2 and once again we were hitting the flight around her nap time. Brian got us seats in the back of the plane so I was able to get up with her and stand in the back and I got her to sleep. She slept the ENTIRE way home. What a blessing that was! It really couldn't have gone any more smoothly than it did.

So we're home now and she's getting back to her normal schedule. I think she wonders where her adoring fans went. There's no crowd around clapping for her every time she sits up or does something cute! Bummer.

Food for Thought

2008-08-01T14:57:00.000-07:00

"Our trials are great opportunities. Too often we look on them as great obstacles. It would be a haven of rest and an inspiration of unspeakable power if each of us would henceforth recognize every difficult situation as one of God's chosen ways of proving to us His love and look around for the signals of His glorious manifestations; then, indeed, would every cloud become a rainbow, and every mountain a path of ascension and a scene of transfiguration.

If we will look back upon the past, many of us will find that the very time our Heavenly Father has chosen to do the kindest things for us, and given us the richest blessings, has been the time we were strained and shut in on every side. God's jewels are often sent us in rough packages and by dark liveried servants, but within we find the very treasures of the king's palace and the Bridegroom's love." --A.B. Simpson
(Here I must add that I have discovered myself that the "treasures" are not often material things. The "treasures" that bless the most and bring the most joy and peace are those that proceed from His presence itself. It's not the actual gaining of those things I thought I wanted or needed.)

"When you are doubtful as to your course, submit your judgment absolutely to the Spirit of God, and ask Him to shut against you every door but the right one....Meanwhile keep on as you are, and consider the absence of indication to be the indication of God's will that you are on His track...As you go down the long corridor, you will find that He has preceded you, and locked many doors which you would fain have entered but be sure that beyond these there is one which He has left unlocked. Open it and enter, and you will find yourself face to face with a bend of the river of opportunity, broader and deeper that anything you had dared to imagine in your sunniest dreams. Launch forth upon it; it conducts to the open sea."

"God guides us, often by circumstances. At one moment the way may seem utterly blocked and then shortly afterward some trivial incident occurs, which might not seem much to others, but which to the keen eye of faith speaks volumes. Sometimes these things are repeated in various ways, in answer to prayer. They are not haphazard results of chance but the opening up of circumstances in the direction in which we would walk..." --F.B Meyer

"If we could see beyond today
As God can see
If all he clouds should roll away,
The shadows flee;
O'er present griefs we would not fret.
Each sorrow we would soon forget,
For you and me."

"If we could know beyond today
As God doth know,
Why dearest treasures pass away
And tears must flow
And why the darkness leads to light,
Why dreary paths will soon grow bright;
Some day life's wrongs will be made right,
Faith tells us so."

" 'If we could see, if we could know',
We often say,
But God in love a veil doth throw
Across our way
We cannot see what lies before,
And so we cling to Him the more,
He leads us till this life is o'er;
Trust and obey."

I read these quotes today and was reminded of why God commands us to "fear not". He says also that fear leads to evil (Ps 37:8). Wow. But aren't we human? Aren't fear and anxiety just natural parts of who we are? Well, according to Scripture, when those things arise in us we are to fight them and not allow them to grip our hearts and our minds. Man, I can so quickly jump to panic mode and allow fear and anxiety to push me down an emotional river, if you will, that I have no business going down as a Christian.

For some reason, it feels like I'm accomplishing something when I get fearful and anxious--that's so crazy! There are reasons Christ commands us to avoid this pattern of thought.

Okay, what are the reasons? I could think of a few:

First,when we are fretting or anxious we are not recognizing Christ power and control.

Second, we try to grasp at control ourselves instead of trusting. That seems to lead to much more trouble in one way or another.

Third, God knows the physical toll this takes on us. He is aware of limitations and cares about this aspect of our lives.

Fourth, it is a waste of mental and emotional energy---what does it accomplish?

Fifth, He has a plan for us in mind. He's not letting us drift without direction.

How do we stop it? I don't know exactly. Wish I knew the secret. I personally think that we can't stop the onset of worry. I think it IS human to have that reaction to unexpected problems in life BUT we have to stop it there. No more dwelling on things we can't control!!!! We must pray at those moments and really practice meditating on the Truths we know about Christ and His promises to us: He is God of ALL; He is good and loving; He is always with us; He knows what is going on and cares; He has our best in mind; His desire is for us to know Him more, not to give us everything we want; He cares for even the sparrow so how much more does He care for His children.... Just to name a few! These are the things I need to dwell on in the moments of panic and fear. David was so good at that. When I read the Psalms I can see how David would come to God with his worrisome thoughts and as he focused on the attributes of God, his worries turned to praise. He's a great example for me.

God has been so good in the past. That doesn't mean He hasn't allowed me to go through PAINFUL times. But He has shown me that through them He reveals more and more of Himself, and for that I am grateful.

One other thing, I think that when pain comes, we are reminded that this world is not our home. Our home, our true home, is Heaven. We long to be there with Him, complete. That desire is unrecognizable most of the time I believe. It's masked by desires for material things, the things of this world. We misinterpret our desires. When pain comes, things are quickly seen for what they really are, and I believe that's why we are so thrown by our disappointments. It is jolting. Our focus is then sharpened and made clearer.

It is by God's grace that He allows those moments to come. Despite the pain, good comes. He uses the pain for our good. That is why Jesus died. To bring life from death. Good from evil. Peace from pain. Now that's worth dwelling on.

What a Big Girl!

2008-07-29T19:39:00.001-07:00

First of all I have to say Happy Anniversary (3 days late) to my parents. They are celebrating their 39th year of marriage. Now that's an accomplishment! Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!!! We love you and thank you for setting an example worthy of following.

Ava is doing new things everyday and this week she has started pulling herself up to a standing position. She is always so proud of herself when she gets up! She grins from ear to ear. We actually did not know she could do this until one morning we walked in to see this:

What a big girl! Now I know every baby does this eventually, but it seems like such a big deal when it's your own. And I am just SURE that no other baby does it as well as ours:)! Standing and falling is her new favorite game.

Last weekend Brian decided at the last minute that we should go to Atlanta for an outdoor concert. It made me feel good that we can still be spontaneous! So he got off early and we headed to Piedmont Park to see Jerry Jeff Walker. I am not a fan as I didn't know who he was, but Brian likes him. The thought of being outside was appealing to me. It was great weather for it. We dropped our stuff at the hotel and walked to the park. The weather was so awesome! When we got there we found a place on the grass and parked our chairs and Ava's stroller. She did great too. We took turns strolling her when she got bored and she eventually fell asleep. The folks next to us commented on how good she was. Yea, well, we know. ha ha! I think she was the only baby in the whole place! We did see another family on our way out. The mom and dad had 2 older children, and the dad said, "we were making bets that we had the youngest ones here but looks like we lost"! Yea, I think we won that one.
We walked back and it was close to 11:00 by that time, poor Ava. She had a hard time that night with sleeping. She had slept the whole walk back so when we got back and changed her she was AWAKE! That was the price we had to pay I guess. She got to sleep in the next day so it all worked out. We ate an on open air Mexican restaurant Saturday and I walked to some local shopping while Brian headed back. I found some great deals at a closing sale...woohoo! I like me a good sale. Saturday night we got some awesome Thai food again, outside. It was another beautiful night. We don't have any plans for a big vacation trip this summer since we did just get back from Vietnam. So, it's nice to just take a weekend here and there to do something different and special. There's so much in Atlanta to do too that we haven't gotten to still. Hopefully we'll have more weekend trips like this in the near future. It can be very refreshing.

This week is just another run-of-the-mill week, no special plans. Ava keeps things interesting though with the new things she's doing. She keeps us on our toes!

Here are some more pics from the week:

Showers of Blessings

2008-07-17T13:26:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday, a couple of girls at the church, Kelly and Elizabeth, threw me a shower. It was held in the fellowship hall of the church after the service. Before the service started, Brian went to drop off something in the kitchen for me and when he came back into the service he wrote me and note that read, "I stopped by the fellowship hall and it looks REALLY REALLY nice!!!" He was very impressed with the decorations and food and the hard work the girls put into the shower, as was I. And it DID look very nice, just perfect. I have to add here that other girls from Sunday School helped out as well and added their touches and good cooking. It was quite an effort and we are so blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives. Not only did they bless us with their prayers but also their generosity and thoughtfulness in throwing us this shower. After the service, Brian hung out a little while because it was Ava's lunch and nap time, of course, so while we all ate, he fed Ava and she fell asleep on his shoulder. He held her and she slept a good while and woke up just in time for the opening of the gifts. I'm so glad he stayed too. She would have been in quite a mood had she not slept. So THANK YOU Brian! After she woke up he took off for home. I guess he didn't want to be the only guy hanging out at the shower! After she woke up we grabbed one of the exersaucers from the nursery and she sat in that while I opened gifts. I could tell she was a little groggy for a while and then she perked up and was a happy girl. Give that child an exersaucer and she's good to go, or stay I should say! So here are some pictures from the shower. The food was awesome and the decorations sweet. Elizabeth made the cake herself---I'm impressed. The icing was a exact match to the invitations. Doubly impressed.
By the way, Beth, she wore the dress you gave her. She got MANY compliments! You did a great job picking it out. It is beautiful.

Celebrating her First Fourth

2008-07-07T20:32:00.000-07:00

We had a great weekend up in Athens for the Fourth of July holiday (I can't believe it's already the fourth!!). Well, actually we were home for the Fourth and then the next day we went to Athens. It was Ava's first Fourth of July and we didn't see any fireworks--shame on us! I don't know that she would have like them anyway. Every year I start thinking about the Fourth and want to go see fireworks somewhere and have a picnic, but then when it comes down to fighting the crowds I just say "forget it!" So we opted to stay home and cookout there. It was very relaxing and quiet. When she gets a little older I think we'll venture out. Then on Saturday morning we headed up to Athens, baby and dog in tow. Ava was in her holiday garb. I found her the cutest dress that says "I'm an American baby!" all over it! I guess it looked like a flag...but I thought it was adorable on her. Clark, Ashlie and the kids came over and we grilled steaks and corn and had quite a spread. No fireworks. I almost bought sparklers but figured mom had bought some, o well. No such luck. I should always go with my first instinct I guess. But we did have a water balloon fight. When we were there a few weeks ago and Jennifer's family came and John, sensing the kids were bored, decided to surprise them with water balloons. So he and Brian and Clark went outside and filled the balloons with water. They made three water balloons for the kids to defend themselves with and then kept the rest for themselves! They thought they wouldn't have a chance. We called all the kids out and if I'm remembering correctly, the guys threw all the balloons they had at the kids and not ONE of them got wet!! Because the guys didn't want to throw them too hard at the poor unsuspecting children, the balloons would just bounce off them, hit the ground and then pop! So their plan was not working out as they'd hoped, but the kids got into it and it was quite a show. The guys definitely got their due. Then when papa came home from the store, they all hid in the garage until he got closer and then ran out and screamed "happy father's day!!" as they pelted him with balloons! Unfortunately only his shoe got a little wet. Drats. I believe I heard the kids say this is a new tradition...the water balloon fight that is, not attacking Papa!It sure is a great way for kids to cool off in the summer, and let off some frustration with the parents at the same time!

This past weekend Clark had gotten Wade some more water balloons so that was also on the schedule for Saturday. So Clark and Wade and Ashlie tried to get each other wet while Brian and Papa filled the balloons with water. Brooks tried to help as well.:) Ashlie sort of inadvertantly got in the mix. Wade got her good! He loved that...I'm not so sure that Ashlie did however. From this picture I'd say she wasn't thrilled. Wade looks rather pleased with himself!

Ava had a big week last week. She learned how to sit up on her own. I turned around to do something and when I looked back, I caught the last second of her pushing herself upright! I couldn't believe it! It took me by such surprise. I would clap after she would do it successfully and say "yaaayyy Ava!", and so she also learned how to clap! Well, she can't make the sound but she loves to sit up and then do the clapping motion. It's the cutest thing. AND her two bottom teeth are coming in nicely. You can see them a little bit in this picture. She hasn't had too much pain with these. Hopefully it's a sign of good things to come. So we're making progress over here.

We don't have too much going on this week. I do have to take her for vaccines. Yuck. Never fun but necessary. And then we may go to the park Wednesday morning with some girls from church. We'll see how that goes. It will be nice to get out of the house and outside.

Hope everyone has a great week!!

She's 8 Months Old Today!

2008-06-24T21:04:00.000-07:00

Today is the day Ava turns 8 months old. We've had her for 2 and a half months. Boy, it seems like longer! Not because she's difficult but because it feels like she's always been a part of our lives.

I thought it would be fun to dress her in an outfit that she wore in a picture we took in Vietnam and get a comparison shot. I thought it would be a good way to see how much she's changed. I didn't put the white shirt under the little romper like I did in the first shot so the new one is slightly different. And I had just given her a bath in the recent picture so her hair is all wet and fluffy! But besides that I kept it the same. So here is the result:

It's funny...I can't hardly get a picture of her with her tongue in her mouth anymore! She's like a little puppy dog. Making rasberry noises is her new "thing". Well, I can definitely see a difference in the photos! It's amazing how fast they grow and change. I'm so thankful that God allowed us to get her at such a young age. What a blessing to be able to see all these changes. I LOVE this age. Today, I was giving her a bottle and she was getting sleepy. When she finished, I held her up so she could rest her head on my shoulder (this is usually how she falls asleep) and she laid her head down and reached her arm up around my neck like a big hug---this is how she fell asleep. It was such a sweet moment. I didn't want to put her in her crib. I held her as long as my arms would let me and then put her down. Oh, I hope I can always remember that feeling of her tiny arm around my neck and her sweet breath on my neck. Precious.

Our weekend

2008-06-23T07:52:00.000-07:00

Saturday we had a lazy morning around here. Brian woke up with Ava and they played and watched Sesame Street. We have the vintage DVD's from the first 2 seasons and they are the best! Ava loves them. They're fun for us to watch too as they bring back memories from our childhoods. I prefer them to the new ones. And then Ava watched Brian do some work while she played in his office. Then I watched her while he napped. We have a whole system here and it works very well! We all still get our naps which is very important. After he woke up he watched her while I got to go out by myself to run errands. I do not mind getting out with her during the week because she does great in the stroller most of the time. But she has her limit and it's about 2 hours. And that's from getting in the car to getting home. So I have to factor in the drive and shopping and the drive back and that doesn't leave much errand time. So it was nice to go alone--I got a lot done! And while I was gone, Brian cleaned the sofa!! Now that's what I'm talkin' about!

We grilled out steaks that evening. The weather was pretty nice. Ava decided she wanted to wake up around 8pm and wasn't ready to go back down until 10:30 that little stinker. So I wasn't sure how church was going to go the next morning. But she woke up happy and was such a cheerful thing all morning! She was happy to see everyone at church. I think she's going to be a people person, our little social butterfly! Our intention all morning was to go to Sunday School and service but by the time we were all ready to go it was 10:15 already. We didn't get to the church until 10:30! So we were either really late for Sunday School or really early for service. I'll say we were early! Obviously we haven't perfected our getting ready routine. That'll come after some practice I hope. She did great in the nursery and when we went to get her she was just finishing her bottle and falling asleep. She was happy to see us though and let out a happy squeal when she saw her daddy! We ALL got to take a nap that afternoon--perfect!

We grilled out again Sunday night and ate out on the deck. The temperature outside was awesome and it wasn't humid at all. So nice. As it started to rain we moved it into the sunroom and opened the windows so we could listen to the storm. It was an all around relaxing weekend and I think we all feel very refreshed from it. We are enjoying Ava so much. I am just trying as best I can to soak in all the "baby-ness" while she's so small. I know she won't be a baby for long. She has already grown so much. We are really trying to enjoy every moment of every day with her. And that's not a difficult thing to do!

I'm going to add some recent pics soon. So be lookin' out for 'em!

2 Months Ago This Day....

2008-06-17T20:17:00.000-07:00

...began with Brian and me...

...in Vietnam

...we were a bit nervous

...as we walked through the courtyard of an orphanage

...and with hearts pounding we took deep breaths

... as our lives were about to change

...Then we rounded a corner to see the most lovely thing on earth...

...and at that moment we received the sweetest gift...

Our Ava.

Happy two month anniversary to our family.

"Every good thing bestowed and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights..."
James 1:17

Morning has come

2008-06-07T20:22:00.000-07:00

"Weeping may endure for the night,
but JOY comes in the morning."

Psalm 30:5

"It's a great trick!"...

2008-06-02T14:55:00.001-07:00

...As qouted from Mrs. White in the movie Clue. I think of this everytime I give Ava a bath b/c she does fun tricks with her feet. She is particularly good with her them. She claps with her feet and can use them to pick up toys to bring them up to her hands--She's very coordinated! So I took some picks of her in the bath picking up the big cup I use to rinse her hair with her feet. She picks it up with her feet and bring it up to her hands and then to her mouth. Pretty smart chic. The pics are so cute and I've got several. So here they are....

..."TADA!!!"

We should take this act on the road!!!

A Visit with Family

2008-05-28T19:12:00.000-07:00

This past weekend Brian went on his annual camping trip with his highschool buds in New York, so I took Ava to visit family. Oh, first of all we started out to see my life-long friend Hope, who also just had a baby boy in February. She lives in Dunwoody so we stopped there on our way to Athens. What a fun visit! Her little boy Luke is younger than Ava and they were very interested in each other. He would watch her push up on her hands and then it was as if he was trying to copy her and he would try to do the same. He is a cutie! It's kind of weird that she and I are moms now. I feel like we're still in high school sometimes! "What? When did we become adults?" She's been a great friend growing up and we always have fun together. And it's weird too how we always seemed to go through the same sort of stuff at the same time! And he we are at the beginning of motherhood together. It's neat how God worked that out for us. We will be a good support for each other I'm sure.

After that we took off for Athens and surprised Papa at work. Boy, was he sure a proud papa that afternoon! He enjoyed showing her off to the people he works with. We stayed in Athens that night and that Friday night too. Friday night Clark and his family visited so she got to play with cousins Brooks and Wade. Brooks is so funny with her. I think he thinks she's a living toy! He poked her and then threw his hands up and clapped and laughed! At one point her legs got stuck under the chair and he reached over and pulled her arm. He did this three times and finally got her out! Now, you have to remember that he's only 1 year old! That's pretty impressive. He's a smart kid. So the next day we went to see Ava's great grandmother. Now that was a surprise for her too. And she was so happy to see Ava. She had been asking dad about her and how we were doing since our trip, so I know she was glad to finally get to see this bundle of joy she'd been hearing about. She kept saying, "jan, she doesn't cry does she?" and I'd say "No, ma'am, not much." She did well during that visit until she got hungry and then it quickly got loud! But we whipped her bottle out just in time. I've been wanting to go see her for some time and you know how it goes, life gets in the way. Good intentions don't get me very far sometimes. Mom got pictures of that but I don't have any yet. I'll post those later.

After visiting, Ava and I drove to Acworth. She did okay in the car. Starting out was rough. She was sleepy and frustrated but eventually, after 20 minutes or so, she fell asleep. The drive wasn't too bad as far as traffic goes thankfully. So we got there and Jack who is 6 was so excited to see her and his first comment was, "she's so little! And her toes and fingers are so small!" He had seen her once before but was just taken with her this time around. The girls were excited too but I expect that from them I guess. He was just funny. So we were there part of Saturday and Sunday and left Monday. Jack was so great with her. He loved strolling her around the house and he'd stop and say,"is she smiling?" At one point he just stopped and sat at the kitchen table and looked at her for a while. Precious!!

He had lots of questions about adoption and I hope I was able to answer to his satisfaction! He's an inquisitive fellow who doesn't settle for a pat answer. He wants details and he wants to understand fully. But some concepts are harder than others. Well, it was good practice for me! He was just so wonderful and gentle with her. He was a good helper too. He'd go get me diapers and things. He was very interested in the whole baby thing. He was a little jealous when he saw Ava getting so much of Jennifer's affections. He's a mama's boy for sure but in a good way! But Ava soon drew his attention too and he was fine. Ava liked him as well and liked to watch him jump around and play. He must have been quite entertaining for her. She doesn't get to see stuff like that at home! When she was looking tired he said to me, "Do you think maybe Ava needs to get cozy with this blanket? That might help her get sleepy." So I put her under and then he got under. He even brought down his favorite stuffed animals for her to play with. Of course, that became more of game than a "getting cozy" time.

Jen and I stayed up talking Saturday night as we always do. I should have known better. As soon as I layed down at 3am (crazy!) Ava started crying! Aaaaagh! That tends to be how it usually happens. She just was out of sorts in this new place and only slept a little longer that night. By 7am I was exhausted and just put her in the bed with me thinking if she'll just play here in bed I can at least close my eyes. Next theing I know Jennifer is waking us up! We had both fallen asleep. So we very quickly got ready to go to church. Jennifer was looking forward to introducing us to her Sunday School class b/c they had been praying for us as well. What a beautiful picture of what the body of Christ is! I have been so sweetly blessed by all these people telling us they have been praying for us. Just wonderful. Ava didn't make it through that class without some "vocalizing" as we call it. So we headed to the nursery where she could make some noise and have a bottle. The rest of the day was relaxing. Ava took a 2 hour nap so I got to sleep as well. Aaahhh, beautiful sleep!

We had a lazy Memorial day. We got back home around 6. It was sad to leave the kids. They were SOOOO sweet to Ava. They keep her entertained! I love those kids. I think one day they will make excellent baby-sitters!!

Ava has been sleeping pretty well this week. I think the weekend wore her out. She actually slept straight through last night without a bottle...will it happen again tonight? We'll see. Maybe it's the start of something great! She gets five shots tomorrow so I would be willing to bet that whatever pattern may be starting to form will probably be interrupted tomorrow by sore legs and fever. I don't look forward to this dr. visit at all. Oh, one other thing, she has started scooting forward, like an army crawl. It's funny to watch. She sort of lunges forward. It's very cute. And she's started this whining thing when she wants me to get her something she can't reach. Yikes. Gotta nip that in the bud.

Ava's camera smile:

2008-05-21T14:44:00.000-07:00

We're getting in a pretty good groove over here. Ava has settled into a sort of routine. She goes to bed around 9:30 or 10:00 then sleeps until 3am then up around 6. She will nap again around 10am for a couple of hours. Then we play and hang out until 3:30 or so and she'll take another short nap. She's eating well and growing. At our doctor visit Monday she had gained another pound so she's up to 14.7! The doctor said she is very strong and looks healthy. Music to my ears.

We took Ava to church for the first time on Sunday. I'm not comfortable yet leaving her in the nursery, not b/c of the nursery itself, just b/c of Ava's having been in an orphanage. I just want to make sure she feels secure enough before we set her in an environment like that. I have a feeling she will be fine though. She's handled everything else so well. We'll have to work up to that. She did great in Sunday school and church though. She got a little vocal in Sunday School so I took her out for a bottle. Everyone was so happy to see her. When I went back to the Sunday School room I couldn't go right in because they were having prayer time. Meanwhile, another class let out right next to ours and many people stopped to see her and told me they had been praying for us and reading the blog. A lot of them I had not met before. I just think that is so neat that we had people who don't even know us praying for us and for Ava. That happened all day long before and after the service. What a blessing it was to us to hear that! We are still talking about it. Ava doesn't know it but she's already special to so many people. I think this process of adoption is just a reminder of how Christ has adopted us into His family. It is a precious thing. We, like Ava, did nothing to "deserve" such unconditional love. But it has been poured out for us and now we belong to His family as Ava does to ours. In the service, on the pulpit, they had a rose and a pair of booties for Ava's first day. They had an announcement in the bulletin also. It was a day that we had been looking forward to for a long time. I had daydreamed about bringing our baby to church for as long as I can remember. Now it's a reality and a beautiful memory. We are so blessed to have such wonderful people around us at church. They have prayed with us and for us and covered us with those prayers. They have brought us meals and shared in our excitement over Ava. It's fun to have people excited with us!! It makes it even MORE special to have friends to share this time with.

On our way home we saw there was some sort of art festival in Fayetteville so we stopped there. It was a beautiful, windy day and we got to enjoy that as we got some food there and ate outside. Ava enjoyed it too! They had all sorts of food there and we got a little of almost everything. But we missed the kettle corn booth-rats!!

That afternoon we headed home for a nap. We got a call from Jack and Sherry Hancock that they were celebrating some birthdays over there and we were invited. We headed over there in the evening. Sherry is an awesome cook and we always enjoy her food and the company of course is always fun. So we had dinner there and got to see their new grand baby too. They show so much love to Ava and their friendship has meant a lot to us over the year . Ava seems to have fun with them as well! But, who wouldn't?!?

So we had a pretty busy weekend. It was full of fun and also some firsts. We hope to have more weekends just like it! I threw in some random pics from the week.

Mother's Day

2008-05-18T20:31:00.000-07:00

Yes, Mother's Day was a week ago and here I am, just now writing about it. Did everyone give up on my ever blogging again?

So, Mother's day was of course very special for me this year. It was never an upsetting thing for me, Mother's Day, just because I was not a mom yet. I just focused on celebrating my mother of course, and so it was never a hard day for me. Rather, it was always a good one. I guess the Lord was gracious to me in allowing it to be that way. But I have to say I was looking forward to this one. Ava was home and just in time to celebrate that special day with her. What a gift! I have to say I was a little sad though that day. It does bring about thoughts about her birth mom and how she must miss Ava. A lot of birthmoms have to give up their children only because they know they do not have the ability financially to care for them, not because they don't want them or love them. So, I was a little sad for her that day and my thoughts went to her often. Does she wish she could kiss those darling, puffy cheeks the way I am able to now? Does she miss those dark eyes looking back at her so sweetly? Oh, the thoughts are almost too much. It makes me so thankful to have her and in fact, makes us all the more aware of our responsibility and of how precious it is that God has given her to us.

Anyway, it really was a good day. We went to my parents house in Athens. Their house in on a lake and surrounded by woods so it's incredibly peaceful out there. That Saturday the neighborhood folk had a picnic so I took Ava down to the clubhouse for that. So many people came up to see her. My parents had been talking about her in their excitement so several were aware of our situation and were so excited to meet her. Okay, coloring aside, do my mom and Ava look alike in this picture or is it just me? It makes me laugh!
The next day was Mother's Day and my brother and sister-in-law came over with their two boys. Brooks is 6 months older than Ava and he really got a kick out of her. He just smiled and smiled at her! So cute! He was a little jealous when Ashlie was holding Ava, and so he decided to just climb right on up there with her. I think they'll enjoy playing with each other as they get older. I bet Ava will just be following him around everywhere!

My parents, they have a knack with babies, let me tell ya. They could put any baby to sleep--they just have the touch. They worked in the newborn nursury at church for as long as I can remember. Maybe that's where they got all their practice! It's as if babies know that my parents are good like that and they just relax with them. I wish I knew their secret. This weekend was the first time that Clark, my brother, got to hold Ava. He had to work hard to get her to smile at him, but it finally worked. Usually she is so smiley but sometimes it's like she's playing a game and will just make you work at it for a while. We had a nice dinner, steaks, salad, potatoes, the works. That's the place to go for relaxing--unless ALL the grandkids are there and then that's a different story altogether. But there's enough room for everyone to sort of spread out or go outside for a walk so I guess there are quiet moments here and there.

I have so many great pictures from this visit. It was hard to choose which ones to put on the blog! I want to post them all. Somehow I got away from the weekend with no pictures of me with Ava--on Mother's Day at that!! How did that happen?!? I guess I'm always the one with the camera, therefore.....

Ava had another really good week. No major struggles yet. We go to the doctor tomorrow for a well-check. She just seems to continue with the flow. Great baby. Sweet sweet gift from God. I got an E-card from someone in my Bible Study last week for Mother's Day and the message on it sums it up for me..."God gave you to ME?" That is exactly how I feel! You for ME? How could it be that He saw fit to give me such a wonderful little thing? I don't understand, but why question it! I'll just enjoy it and know that it's just simply GRACE.

I have to blog about this weekend tomorrow. I have some great pictures from the week too. This girl is growing like a weed--she's growing out, not up though! Everyone who has seen her recently, for the second time, comments on how big she's gotten!

Hope everyone has had a good weekend and enjoyed the gorgeous weather.

This Week

2008-05-09T19:33:00.000-07:00

Ava has been doing great this week. I think the anitbiotics must be kickin' in. She is still a little congested but much better I think. She's not as cranky for sure. She seems to be settling into a little routine, not thanks to us. We just went along for the ride there for a while. But now her sleeptime at night has extended so she's only getting up once a night for a bottle--shew, much easier! Her naps I have discovered, need to be on the short side so she'll sleep at night. Although today she threw me for a loop when she slept for 2 hours. I had to go wake her up! Usually she only naps for about 39 to 45 minutes. Oh well. She still was in bed by 10:00 tonight so it doesn't seem to be messing her up. I guess we'll know in a couple of hours. Brian has been really great to get up with her at night. Well, we take turns at the night shift. But when she's up in the morning around 5 am he gets up for his day and takes care of her while I sleep. Then once he hops in the shower I take over. So we've got a little system here that seems to be working for us. We could both use a little more sleep but overall we're doing real well.
She is started to move around pretty well. She certainly rolls well. She can roll half way across the room in under 30 seconds! She is started to push up more and more and she's getting her knees under her as well. But when her knees come up, the rest of her goes down! Good. I don't want her to grow up too fast. But I have a feeling it won't be too long before she's crawling and then it's watch out mom and dad!
This is Ava's new "thing". When we have her in the bouncy seat she likes to have her feet propped up on these plastic fish. I guess this is her way of kicking back and relaxing! Whatever the reason, it's certainly cute as can be.

She's still eating well too. She loves the rice cereal and we have fun with that. She wants to help with the spoon but you know how that goes. I feed her most of the cereal and then let her help me with the last little bit. She is chunkin' up a little bit and we love it! She's a healthy girl. And she's a sweet girl. We've had a lot of laughs around here. She definitely keeps us smilin'.

Video

2008-05-04T06:42:00.000-07:00

I've been working hard on this video montage of our trip. I will eventually add more pics and music, but for now this will do. Hope you all enjoy it. Remember to turn off my music at the bottom of my blog page by pressing pause on the sonific songspot!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

We're doing well but tired. We think Ava may have an ear infection from being congested on the flight over. Poor thing just isn't herself lately. So tomorrow I will take our first trip to the doctor. Sleep is short and not often enough but we're hangin' in there. We've been able to tag team which has been nice. It just kills me not being able to make her feel better. Tears at the heart. But hopefully tomorrow we will turn a corner.

Homecoming

2008-04-30T17:50:00.000-07:00

I know it has been a while since my last update. We've been a bit busy. We have good news that will be surprising to everyone. We're Home!!!! How strange to be typing those words.

We actually got our visa for Ava early, last Friday to be exact. Anna, our liaison in Vietnam had our passports expedited for us since the holiday was coming up. She was afraid that the paperwork would get delayed as people take off of work. So we ended up at the Embassy Friday morning and our Visa was in hand by 5:00! That was the last hurdle in this marathon we've been in for a year now. What a relief to have it. Now Ava could go home. We didn't think we'd be able to get home on an earlier flight as our travel agent said it would be difficult due to the holiday. But he called on Saturday evening to let us know that we had a flight out the following day at noon. So we packed up, and boy, that took some time, and headed out around 10 am on Sunday. We flew from Vietnam to Taipei, then from there to LA, and then from there to Atlanta. We had a 2 hour lay-over in Taipei and then a 7 hour lay-over at LAX. The flights went fairly smoothly and Ava did as well as could be expected for a baby flying travelling well over 24 hours. She slept a lot on the long leg of the journey which was a huge blessing. We had a bassinet for her on the plane which was heaven sent! She slept well in that which gave our arms a much-needed break from holding her. But the hardest part of the trip was from LA to Atlanta. For some reason, when she gets sleepy, she just wants to fight the sleep and she gets fussy. By that point in our trek home she was exhausted and not wanting to sleep. So we were dealing with that and the fact that Brian and I ourselves hadn't slept for 2 days. By the time we reached Atlanta we were all worn pretty thin. But what a wonderful feeling it was to get to Atlanta and know that we were home. Aaahhh, home. Our luggage, however, was not, so we had to wait a little while for that to arrive so we had some breakfast there at the airport in the meantime. Funny thing, during our wait Ava was just laughing and bright-eyed. How did she get the energy at that point?!?

So we've been here since very early Monday morning. I didn't blog about the trip simply b/c I knew we'd need some time to settle in and recuperate from the long trip and change of time zones and all that. So please forgive the tardiness. We are enjoying our time at home, although we have not quite figured out how to get Ava switched over from day to night. She wants to sleep in the day and keep us up all night. Exhausting. BUT, every new parent goes through this, so this is our initiation I guess... "Welcome to the world of parenthood!"

She seems to have adjusted well otherwise. She seems to take it all in stride. My family came over Monday to meet her. And Brian's parents came Tuesday on their way back to New York and they will be here until Friday. They have been quite a help, letting us nap here and there while they hold Ava. Wonderful!!!! Now, I just don't understand why she doesn't like naps!! Doesn't she know that naps are the BEST?!? She seems to have taken a liking to them all, the family that is, showing no fear, just quizzical looks here and there and then a smile breaks through.

Through all of this I have seen God work on our behalf in SO many ways. His mercy towards us was and is great and He is to be praised and thanked for the way it all flowed so effortlessly after our arrival in Vietnam. And really as I think back, the entire process, although long, went well for us. After talking with other couples, it seems our experience in the process was without event.

As I type this, I am holding Ava. She is watching me type away. How many times have I sat here, blogging about her and my desire to go get her, and hold and kiss her, and now, here she is. This beautiful, happy child, I can kiss her soft cheeks, and hold her sweet hand and hear her cries and laughter. How great is God?!!! In His mercy, He reached over to the other side of the world and grabbed up this sweet thing to make for us all a family. God's ways are not man's ways. He works in ways that are beyond our ability to comprehend. And the way in which He works His plans our beyond our ability to imagine. The evidence of His providence has been before us throughout it all. How awesome that He lets us experience and see His providence. A little bit more of God Himself revealed.

Thank you all so much for your encouraging emails. I was always so excited when I saw that I had an email to read from someone back home! It was nice to know that there were people praying and thinking about us. It all went more smoothly than we imagined it would --truly. And on top of that, it was lots of fun. I have to say that it is a little surreal that we are actually home with her. I am still a little in la-la land because of the whole switch over in days and time. But even with that, we are still all enjoying each other. We are just so blessed to have her home and so quickly too--that was an added bonus. We hope to see you all soon. Please be patient as we try to adjust her and ourselves to this new time and schedule. Again, we just haven't been in much contact with anyone since our arrival simply due to this fact. We will probably be able to bring her to church in a couple of weeks. We will just be going with the flow here.

We can't say thank you enough. So here's one more...THANK YOU TO YOU ALL.

A Good Day in Vietnam

2008-04-22T06:35:00.000-07:00

Today we had to take Ava to have her medical exam for her Visa. We got there around 10:00 and didn't have to wait too terribly long to see the doctor. Well, she saw the nurse first and slept through part of that. She woke up for the last part and she didn't fuss one single bit. We were proud. But it was a different story when she saw the doctor. Brian held Ava while the doctor checked her throat and she did not like that at all! But she only cried for a moment and then quickly calmed down. He decided to do a vaccine. Apparently the states are a little more strict about vaccines before entering the country. She had to get a shot in the leg and Brian wanted to hold her for that. I was glad he did too. I certainly didn't want to. I didn't even want to watch. When they gave it to her she screamed and looked at Brian like she wanted him to save her from this awful experience! It was the saddest thing and I think I even teared up a bit myself. But we gave her the bottle we had brought and that calmed her right down. That girl loves to eat. However, she lost a lot of it a few minutes later all over Brian's shorts! She doesn't normally do that so she must have been pretty shaken up.

Afterwards, we headed to the lake nearby to get lunch with Katie, Jeff and their daughter Reagan. We found a fun place that had a great view of the lake and the food was excellent. We've enjoyed the hotel restaurant but were glad to get out and try a new place. The girls both did great. After lunch we hit the streets of Vietnam for some shopping. Brian said the craziness of it all makes Manhattan look like a cake walk. It is nuts here! Their is car and motorcycle traffic going in any and every direction. The motorbikes even ride on the sidewalks. We even saw a girl on a motorbike drive up on the sidewalk to use the ATM. Between the occasional motorbike on the sidewalk and the groups of people sitting or standing on the sidewalks to eat and drink and talk, we had to step out onto the street to walk. Does that make any sense at all? But Brian and Jeff watched out for the babies and us and we made it back in one piece. Vietnam is an interesting place. SOOOO different from home. But it's been good to see it and be able to spend some time observing the culture.
We went down one alley way that was a type of fresh food market and when I say fresh, I mean it. They were selling fish that were still swimming in the buckets that held them. Well, except for one HUGE fish that floated on it's back...but I guess they thought they could still get some money for it!?! There were pretty flowers there and fresh herbs which looked nice, souvenir items, fruit, vegetables, fresh and cooked meat. I even saw a fresh cut pigs leg. Yummy. It's quite the eclectic collection of items down any one street. Like I said, the place is just crazy and doesn't make a whole lot of logical sense. A lot of the people working these little stands were on the ground sleeping. Nap time I guess. Wherever we go we are constantly followed by women or men trying to sell us trinkets. They will follow us for a whole block lowering their price as we go. It doesn't matter how many time we say no, they will not stop asking! Weird thing is, they are all selling the same stuff
We were out for quite a while and Ava was so good the entire time and didn't fuss even though it was extremely hot and humid. I know I'm constantly saying how good she is but....she really is! After a few hours of shopping Brian noticed that it looked like we were about to get rained on so we caught a taxi back to the hotel.
We thought Ava would take a bottle and a good nap but the nap only lasted about 30 minutes and then she was up again. That seems to be the way it goes around here.
It was a full day and now she is sleeping once again. Brian is also and soon he will get up for his "shift" and I will head on to bed.
Thank you guys so much for all your prayers. This has been an awesome trip and has gone smoothly so far. It has exceeded all our expectations in every way. The time has been precious to us. That little girl, I'll tell you what, everytime I look in her beautiful brown eyes I am reminded of the greatness of the Lord's grace to us. It just is amazing to me that this is our child. The child of our prayers and hopes. God's gifts are gifts of mercy, undeserved and lavishly poured out. To think about it literally takes my breath away.

About Ava

2008-04-20T04:18:00.000-07:00

I thought I would write about Ava and all the things she's doing. We were told at the clinic that she is 12 pounds. She's a little thing. She is only able to wear her 3-6 month old clothes. The 6 month clothes swallow her whole! a She is able to roll over and has actually done more and more of that the last day and a half. She cannot crawl yet but I think that will be coming soon. She can hold her own bottle. She does not mind a pacifier but has to have us hold it in as she pushes it out with her tongue. She eats super fast and it seems that she eats a lot. She is a growing girl after all. She is pretty quiet most of the time but will let out a squeal when she is excited. She's just happy to sit and observe. She really only cries when she hungry or over-tired. She smiles pretty easily too. I haven't really heard a laugh but we get lots of smiles. She is very social and doesn't mind strangers in the least. She loves to be held while she sleeps but will sleep in her crib too. We try to have her in the crib most of the time for sleeping though. We don't want to encourage any bad habits there. She is Not on any kind of schedule over here. It's sort of like survival mode for now. We'll worry about all that when we get back.

We had another good day today roaming the area for souvenirs and such. Once again the people just love to talk and play with her. Thank goodness she doesn't mind. We ate a late lunch with Katie and Jeff and their little girl Reagan. Brian is now watching Elf with Ava and playing with her on the floor. She is very happy with him. I keep hearing coos from over there. It's only 6:40 but feels later than that. I guess that's how it goes now. She hasn't had much of a nap today so she should sleep well tonight--yay! She is such a joy. Brian keep saying,"I just can't believe how much I love her already!!" It is quite an overwhelming feeling as many of you know already. You just never know or understand until you have that little one in your arms. And we're so glad that that is where she is now. It just feels so good.

I posted some pictures on yesterday's blog. So go Check em out!

Our third day with Ava

2008-04-19T10:43:00.000-07:00

First of all, we can't believe that it's only been 3 days! It feels like we've known her for much longer! And we've learned a lot about her these last few days. It realy is just priceless this time we have just the three of us. We are just having a great time here getting to know each other. Ava is a sweet sweet baby and still pretty content. However, we did have a little bit of a rough night last night but it wasn't her fault. We discovered when we got her that she has a rash of some sort on her head and bottom. We were worried about that of course and as it happened, her head really became a bother to her during the night. She did not sleep very well b/c it was itching and she was continuously attempting to scratch it. It was so pitiful. She has a way of rubbing it back and forth on the sheets to soothe the itch. It's cute to watch, like a little kitten, but obviously it's not good for the rash and not a good habit for her to be forming. We decided we HAD to get her to the International clinic as soon as possible. So at about 5am we dressed and headed out the door. The clinic is only a block or two away so we walked. She really seemed to enjoy the walk as it was cool and breezy and quiet(well, as quiet as it gets around here). We were the only ones at the clinic so we were seen quickly and they were incredibly kind. The dr. believes it is eczema so he gave us some creme which we started today. Now it is almost 2am and she is sleeping much better. He said after 3 days we should really be able to tell a difference. But sadly, we did have to cut her hair in the back. You can only imagine how bad this haircut is! Brian and I do not need to become barbers!! There's only so much you can do with tiny scissors and clippers and a bouncing baby.

So that was the start to the day. She slept a while as did I while Brian caught a baseball game on the internet. Then we went downstairs to eat and decided to buy an umbrelly stroller at the store in the mall here. It was a little expensive for an umbrella stroller but it's made well and we'll use it at home too. But it has really helped!! She is comfortable in it and it's nice to have another place to sit her besides her crib since she can't sit up on her own yet. After we got that we had lunch at Jaspas, which is here at the hotel. We had the breakfast buffet which is a smaller buffet then what we have at home but still it hit the spot. Ava just stared at me the whole time from her stroller. I had my hair pulled back and I think she was trying to figure out whether I was mommy or not! She looked a little puzzled. She was great. Just sat quietly and watched. We're such proud parents. I got some great shots of her in the restaurant I'll post tomorrow. She seems to like the camera!

We met up with our friends here in the lobby and they said they were going to the lake to walk around and we decided to join them. The lake was so pretty and it was breezy there although very humid. The people here believe that the babies should be covered head to foot even when it's hot. Our friends had taken their daughter's pants off so she only had on a onsie and boy, the looks they got from the elderly women here. We even had a couple of them come up and speak to us in Vietnamese about it! They told, or gestured I should say, that we needed to push Ava back up in the stroller (she was sliding a little). They are not shy AT ALL about confronting! But the people here, young and old, LOVE babies and we are constantly stopped by them as they want to talk to the babies and ask about them. They are for the most part extremely pleasant people. We got some great shots of all this at the lake. I will have to post them tomorrow.

After the visit to the lake Ava had a rough time with her head again. Perhaps the heat made it itch more. We applied the creme and then she fell asleep on me and we slept on the couch, well, she did, for a couple of hours. Brian got a great nap too. Then he woke up and fed her while I slept. Now they are both asleep and I am up boiling more water for tomorrow and writing. It's quiet here except for the occasional horn outside. During the day the car horns are nonstop! I do miss the quiet of home.

So we don't have anything planned for tomorrow. Maybe the pool? We'll see. Then Monday we go back to the clinic for her exam for her visa. Then we'll have the visa interview Wednesday or Thurday. So for now we'll just burrow in here and make this apartment our home away from home.

First Meetings

2008-04-17T14:36:00.000-07:00

Wow. Here it is, 4 am on Thursday morning, and since yesterday we have given 1 bath, 6 bottles and many many kisses to our beautiful baby girl. It has been a wonderful journey so far. It has exceeded any of our expectations, although, it was hard to know what to expect really when it comes down to it! Well, there is so much to tell so I'll get to it.

We got to Hanoi on Wednesday and had time to unpack and get ready for Ava's arrival and enjoy a nice meal also. We got to bed pretty early as we had to be in the hotel lobby at 8am to meet Anna, our Vietnamese liason between the agency and the government here. There is one other couple here adoption as well, and also another lady who is here with a relative and she is adopting a little girl too. We all talked nervously in the lobby and then loaded up into the van. The orphanage is in Hung Yen Province which is about 2 hours from the hotel. The traffic here is unbelievable so I just tried to not look out the front window so that I wouldn't be aware of all the near-misses! Brian and I were in the back with Anna and here assistant and we had a great time talking with them. Anna told us at that time that Ava is a very happy baby and laughs a lot. I cannot tell you how happy that made me!! I had prayed for that exact thing for her so many times. We were all so excited and it just felt so surreal. That is the best word to describe it. Then we pulled into the front drive to the orphanage and silence fell over the entire van. Everything was silent except for the clicking of the cameras and the whirring of the video cameras! My heart was pounding and I thought to myself "don't cry YET!!"

So we were all hurried out of the van and told to get our things and then we were led around the corner of the building and the first thing I saw was two laundry lines filled with baby clothes drying in the breeze..."okay Jan hold it together for a few more minutes...". Then we walked to this tiny room with nannies sitting on the mats with the babies. The room would not hold all of us so Brian and I held back for a moment and then a little Vietnamese woman walked up to me and patted me on the arm and said, "Hoa! Hoa!" (Ava's given Vietnamese name) and she motioned for me to come. As I walked into the room I saw her sleeping in one of the nannies' arms and she was holding the little Minnie Mouse rattle we had sent over to her. Okay, that was it...here come the waterworks!! No more holding back the tears. They handed her to me and....what a precious moment. Brian and I haven't stopped staring at her since! She won our hearts immediately.

The trip back was bumpy and loud and very hot. But Ava slept through the WHOLE thing! What an angel. We got back to the room and she got her first bath from us. Everytime she looks at Brian she smiles. He said she got him wrapped, already. When he first saw her, that was it for him, he was done. She is something! Just content and so far has only fussed when she wants a bottle. She has some congestion so I'm going to try some saline spray and that sucker-thingy! Yikes. That's a new one for me.

She's just B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. Thanks again for keeping us in your prayers and for your encouraging emails. I KNOW God heard those prayers and answered them beyond what we all asked for. He is so good. We can't wait for you all to see her in person..the pictures don't do her justice. But here are a few and you know there will be lots more to come.

Today Brian has to go do some Official govt. business and I'll stay here with Ava. Then we'll just be hanging out. We may be able to expedite our passports and be able to come home a little sooner. That is if we can catch a flight. Keep prayin' PLEASE! We still have a long way to go before home. But we just wanted to let you know that we just have a feeling of complete awareness that prayers have been heard and answered in a way that, like I said before, we could NEVER have imagined.

Okay, I just tried to download pictures and for some reason I'm unable to right now. I'm not sure what the problem is. I'm so sorry. So I'll send picture by email to those of you that I have your address and then when I get back I will post them to the blog. Sorry about that! Maybe Brian can take a look at it later on.

Love to all.

Trying to Rest

2008-04-09T00:16:00.000-07:00

So here it is, 3 am and I'm awake. My mind is r-a-c-i-n-g. My heart is doing the same. Are we really leaving in less than 7 days to get Ava? It just doesn't seem real. I have so much to do. The list continues to grow. I'm trying to be organized about it but it doesn't seem to be helping as my wheels spin and spin. I do have to say that mom was an incredible help to me this weekend. She endured a whopping 5-ish hours in Target on Sunday to help me gather up things to take to Vietnam and to have here at home on our return. So we did accomplish a lot there. And we got a rocking chair for the nursurey. That was also a long process that mom lovingly and patiently endured. Good ole mom. Always reliable. But there's still a long way to go. I must rest before we leave. I am trying to force my mind to stay still and not race as it does. How does one do that? I keep repeating to myself "and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guide your heart and MIND in Christ Jesus" and also "...everything by prayer.....". I also have to remember WHY we are going. It is for Ava. To finally have her with us. She is not counting on us to be the perfect parents and to have everything "together". She just needs the basics and lots of love. That much we can definitely provide. Yes, most likely I will forget something and be unprepared. How could we ever know everything we could possibly need? You just do what you think is best and the rest will come. It won't be perfect and I will have to remain flexible and bend when I need to bend and ENJOY it!! We are going to get our daughter!!! And that is the most important thing here, not whether or not I take the right formula. So I am going to try to relax, pray, and allow God's peace to wash over me. He's got it all in His sight, in His plan. Okay, I sorta feel a little better already.

It's What We've All Been Waiting For...

2008-04-04T11:19:00.000-07:00

Last night at midnight I went in to check my email. All emails from Vietnam come late (or early) since they are on the opposite time. And guess what I saw...our approval to travel! "Were my eyes playing tricks on me?" I wondered. This quick? It's only been three weeks since they got all our documents in Ho Chi Minh City. But there it was: "Dear Mr./ Mrs. Dempsey:
Greetings from the Hanoi Adoptions Unit at US Embassy Hanoi.
As you can see in the attachment, based on a preliminary determination of orphan status by the US Citizenship and Immigration Service you are now authorized to travel to Vietnam to complete the adoption of Hoa Thi Nguyen." Tears.
I called Bonnie this morning and she says "Well, I guess you'll be in Vietnam by next weekend!" Say what!!! Actually though we can't enter until April 15th according to our visas so we have a little under 2 weeks. Gives me some time to pack. So much to do. But I just can't believe that in 2 weeks I will be holding her and hearing her "talk" and cry and I get to see those long fingers and kiss those tiny toes. And you will all get to see her too!! Thanks for all your prayers. Bonnie said she is shocked that we got it this fast. Only one other couple go theirs this quickly. God heard your prayers. So thank you.

I did get her room done...just in time. I am pleased with it. We still need a rocker and changing pad and decorations around the room but I guess as far as her room goes, that's all we NEED. She'll survive without pictures on the wall!

Here are some pics:

It won't be long til there's a baby in that crib snuggling that blanket. Can't wait.

Updates of all kinds

2008-03-30T21:49:00.000-07:00

It has been over a week since my last post. I have been running around like a lunatic since we got an email that the CIS in Ho Chi Minh City has our paperwork. They got it about 5 weeks before we thought they would! So things are moving along quickly for which we are thankful. The sooner we can get Ava home the better. But it sure kicked me into high gear. Since we found that out Thursday before last I have gotten her room all done except for the closet which I finished painting last night. We got the new shelves for the closet today after church so those will go up on Thursday. I would do it tomorrow but I have to run some paperwork up to Atlanta and get that mailed off. Then I will be done with the paperwork!!! Yahoo! That is, until she gets here and then we will have some more. But that's then, so let's think about that later. Anyhow, her room looks so cute if I do say so myself....and I do! Her curtains are adorable with little birds and flowers on the sheers. They are perfect since her name means "like a bird" and her given Vietnamese name means "flower". The color on the walls is PERFECT. I was a little worried about it when I was about half way finished with it but now I love it. It took 3 coats to cover the old green color. I was tired. But it was worth the work. I can't wait to post pictures to show everyone the finished room. I will do that this week I hope.

Now, on a sadder note... We will be losing one of the cuter members of the family...Grissom. But he is going to a wonderful home with sweet fun kids who we KNOW will take good care of him: Sarah and Silas! They are so excited to be getting him and we know that he will have so much fun playing with them. Bonus: we will get to see him over the years too! It's weird that I'm as sad as I am about it. I guess it's b/c I spent so much time with him here at home while Brian was working. Brian is sad too but he's thrilled to give such a great gift to the kids. We made this decision after Shiloh had an accident that required a visit to the animal ER on Easter night. We were there until 1:30 in the morning. And of course when we got home, Grissom need some attention as well. We realize that with 2 dogs and a baby, and Grissom requiring more attention than Shiloh, that it would be a good idea to let the kids have him. I don't know that we would have given him to anyone else but since this opportunity was there it really seemed to make the most sense to us at this time. I'm really going to miss that guy. But I know when Ava comes that my attention will be on her and so I won't miss him so much. And Shiloh requires very little attention at all except for about 20 minutes in the evening when she seems to plop herself into my lap for her nightly petting session... And the occasional visit to the vet, poor girl. She has a hard time. But she will be GREAT with the baby. I remember one time I took her over to visit with the twin boys I used to babysit and they loved her and wanted to pet and play with her. They would get right up in her face and yell at her (thinking they were playing with her!) and she would just sit there and not budge! She was so patient and she didn't feel threatened at all. What a sweetie. So, we will be sad to see him go. I know I will just sob when Brian takes him away!!

So this will be another full week. I am trying to enjoy the preparations instead of being overwhelmed by them. We still have so much to do and pack before we're ready. They said that at this point it could take up to 60 days to finish this part of the paperwork BUT nothing so far has taken as long as they've stated. SO....we may be going sooner than expected. Once they give us the all clear with this step then we will travel within a week. Isn't that crazy?!? So basically, we need to be packed and ready to go at a moment's notice. How exciting!! We're coming AVA!!!!

Brian and I had a good day today. We went to church and then headed to home depot to get the closet stuff. Then after naps we headed to the antique flea market to find Brian some kind of wardrobe for his room. That boy needs some more room to hang his clothes. He has the smallest closet. We found one for $80! Great price. Then we headed to Target to register. We found some great things but didn't finish before we got hungry so we'll finish up later. Brian found an animal bowling game that is so cute. He used to always do bowling with the kids in the nursury at church and they loved it so of course we have to get that! It was fun looking at all the baby stuff with him and seeing him get excited over it. Then we ate at our favorite Mexican restaurant up the street. They should know us by name at this point. Great day. Great evening. Hopefully it's followed up with a great week.

The New Furniture

2008-03-14T21:10:00.000-07:00

Here they are...pictures of the new furniture from the antique market. I'm so excited to share them with everyone.
This is the new armoire that we put in the sunroom. I LOVE it. It has a lot of shelves inside.
It looks nice in the sunroom too. The yellow color is nice with all the sunlight that comes in there. What shall I put in it? Hmmmmm....I think it will end up with toys and books. But who knows. I'm sure I'll play around with it before I get it just right. I have so much that could go in it. It'll be a tough decision. But that's a decision I'm not complaining about having to make!

Then next piece is the sideboard we bought for the living room. I ended up leaving the top and the legs the original dark wood and just painted the front and sides. I had to first do a primer coat and then 3 coats of the white-ish paint. Then I did a layer of stain and then sanded that until it looked distressed. It was a LOT of work and took a lot of elbow grease but we are very very pleased with the outcome. Better than I could have imagined. Especially considering what we paid for it. We got a wonderful deal on it. So, here it is....Here is a shot of it a little closer. You can see more of the details.
It really was a find too because it was EXACTLY what Brian had wanted. And it really does fit perfectly in the space-not too wide and not too long. Just right. And the added and unplanned bonus...it's a perfect match to the stars we have on the wall over the sofa!
For the kitchen we found this chest. It is a good size for the kitchen with good storage. I hope to put Ava's dishes, cups and such in there. You know, all the plastic things so that if she gets in there it's no big problem. The finish on it is very unique. It's done with multiple colors so that it blends well with whatever color is around it. It has some white, off-white, grey tones, and yellow tones too. It's really pretty, although I haven't decided what to put on the top. So for the picture I just stuck some stuff up there but all that will definitely change.
Last but not least, this is Ava's new chest of drawers. I absolutely LOVE the color. It's sort of greenish blue. It reminds me of the water in the Caribbean. And it's a good size. She'll have plenty of room for clothes and at the rate I'm going she'll need it! I've had a hard time picking out a new color for her room but I think I've found one that will look good with the chest. Her room is going to be very soft colors with a few brights here and there. Hopefully my vision for it will look as good done as it does in my head. We'll see!
So there you have it. Hope you enjoyed the tour!

Weekend Antique Shopping

2008-03-11T13:13:00.000-07:00

We had a busy weekend, or shall I say, busy as far as we're concerned. We are not ones to fill up our schedule. Saturday night we had an event for the Chamber of Commerce in Clayton county. It is an annual thing and is just one of those things you HAVE to do. Not a great time, you know, just mostly obligation. Jack and Sherry went of course, and the another attorney who works in the same office with Jack and Brian and his wife, both of whom are very sweet. Eldrin Bell (the chairman of the Board of Commissioners and he's also Justin Guairini's dad for all you American Idol fans) and his two friends sat our table also. The program gets longer every year I think. I told Brian it's like the sate of the union address--everybody has to clap after every speech and every award, both when the name of the award winner is called out and after they accept the award. I clapped but my heart was just not in it !!:) But we did have fun dressing up and talking with Jack and Sherry. It's not often that Brian get to don his tuxedo.

Sunday morning we went to church and heard a very interesting report on the missions program. After going home and changing clothes we went to the Scott's Antique Expo which is in Atlanta, though only minutes from Brian's office. We met up with Jack and Sherry and spent most of the afternoon there. They have gone many times and know their way around. The Expo is two buildings actually filled with antique dealers. It's HUGE! Brian and I decided we needed something to put in the living room for extra storage and we'd rather get something unique than something new at Pottery Barn, which would be overpriced anyway. This was the place to do that, let me tell ya. BEAUTIFUL things. Bri and I both said that if we had an empty house we could fill it up with stuff from out there, and we'd love to do so. So did we find a piece for the living room? Yes!... And one for the sunroom, and the kitchen and Ava's room!!! Are we crazy or what?!? BUT, get this, what we paid for that stuff we would have probably have only gotten 1 maybe 2 pieces from potterybarn. Isn't that insane? We got great deals and beautiful old pieces. They were delivered today. We had to have someone deliver them b/c they wouldn't fit in our truck. But it was also nice to have someone carry it all in for us too. It would have been hard to do that, I'm not that strong.

So it's almost all set up. I'm going to paint the front of one piece we bought, the sideboard. Don't freak out, dad! I know it's an antique BUT the front needs something different done to it. It has a crazy design on it. But the other pieces I'm going to leave alone. Can you believe that we got a sideboard, exactly what Brian was looking for, for only $175!?! It's from the 1920's so it's not extremely old piece, but like I said, it fit the bill. So now I just have to paint it and we'll bring it into the living room. Add it to my list of things to do before Ava comes. So, I'll post some pictures once I get everything done. How exciting! I love a new look. It's so refreshing.

The Winds of Change are Blowin'

2008-03-02T19:54:00.000-08:00

This is what the guest room used to look like, but no longer. We cleaned out some of the furniture in order to make some much needed room for the tike and all the stuff needed to take care of her. We rented a cargo van and filled it with lots of unnecessary items we've collected over the years. We took our loveseat and mattress set and some other little things over to the salvation army. Before it was even off the van there were two people eyeing it so I'm sure it was snatched up Saturday. It was a good love seat but very bulky and even though we could use more places to sit, we need the extra space more. What can ya do?!? We also took the bed and vanity back up to my parent. The footboard and headboard were my mom's grandmother's bed. So if anyone wants to visit you're welcome but we'll have to put you on the sofa!! But now we have lots off extra space to hopefully fill with pieces of furniture that will give us some storage. That's the most needed thing 'round here---STORAGE! We found a beautiful chest of drawers with three deep drawers at the flea market. It's an antique piece that was handmade in the 1700's. We may purchase that and put it in the living room where the trunk is now. That would give us some place to put toys and things like that. I think it would look nice there as well.

Mom also took me shopping for baby things at Target. There are SO many cute things there! We did find the car seat I wanted to get, and also some curtain rods. Also, Ashlie gave me her high chair and bouncy seat. So we're getting there! It's so fun to go into her room and look at all the stuff we have. Now that we have some space in her room I feel like I can actually move around in there and work on the room, getting it prepared. Hopefully this week I can get the closet cleaned out and ready for a new closet system that will hold more than what's in there right now. And then I'll probably repaint her room and then we can start setting up the crib and other things. Progress....I love it.

Ava's Things

2008-02-22T10:33:00.000-08:00

Finally I made a few pictures of some of the things I've gotten for Ava. Well, I took pictures of some of the clothes we now have and her bumper pad so you can see the colors her room will be in. I have got to stay out of the stores for a while! I am drawn to the baby section and keep finding great sales!! We've gotten some cute things for good prices too. But I'll take a break for a while. I've only taken pictures of a few of the things, so there's more but these are some of my faves:

Lots of pink. I tried to throw in some other colors here and there. The blue and white shorts in the picture are so adorable. You can't tell it but they're little bubble shorts!!! I got her another pair that's pink and brown plaid. Just too cute. The brown dress is corduroy. I hope it will fit her in the fall. It's a 12 month size so it might be too small. It's so hard to tell. Jen got me the white sundress with the blocks on it. It is SO soft, sort of like linen but softer. That's one of Brian's favorites. Of course he picked out the "I love daddy" onesie!

I think I will leave the room green. Pottery Barn used to sell the cutest window sheers with little birds on them. It would be perfect for her room. I'll have to get them off ebay since Potterbarn doesn't have them anymore. Her room will just be a mix of greens, pinks, blues and yellows. We have some books already. I've found several that I used to have as a kid. I was excited to find those. And we have some cd's. Jen gave us a great baby carrier. We need to figure out how to use it. It's a very good carrier but it will take some practice! Other than that we don't have much. I guess I need to go register and start getting the crib together. I'm very excited about it all....lots of fun!

A Transformed Mind

2008-02-20T20:05:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel sort of down, depressed and you don't know why? Sort of like all of a sudden it hits you and you realize that you're feeling weighed down by something? I do this sometimes. It happens subtly and quietly. I was reading a book the other day called, "Tired of Trying to Measure Up", (quite a title!) and he summed this up rather easily and in a way that it made so much sense to me. He said that if we are producing feelings or actions that are not of the Spirit (the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control Gal.5:22) or we are producing fruits of the flesh (jealousy, envying, anger etc), then we need to stop and consider, "According to what am I walking? What am I focused on right now that has me feeling and thinking this way?" I have kept this in my mind the last few days.

I realize that in a moment like this, if I stop and think, I can pinpoint what it is that has me here in this place. Sometimes it starts with a quick fearful thought that passes by me in the morning, just briefly but hangs over me like a looming storm cloud. I can walk the whole day in reaction to that brief thought. It can affect my whole attitude. Especially if I'm in the habit of thinking in this manner. We have to be so careful. I don't mean we have to get bogged down and analyze every little thought we have. But generally speaking, we need be careful that we're not making sinful thought patterns a habit allowing them to color our daily lives and how we view our Heavenly Father. God does not change according to our circumstances. He is not affected by them. He controls them. If someone could read my thoughts they would not walk away saying, "Now there goes a girl who trust God 100%!" They would say instead, "boy, she really gets thrown by the circumstances that come her way!" I don't want this to be so.

Jennifer's blog yesterday made me think about this. She actually referred to another blog she had read that was written about gratitude. It got me to thinkin' about gratitude in a new way. When we are not grateful, we will not be peaceful. Gratitude breeds peace and that breeds patience with those around us. That in turn will lead to love. But I can be so ungrateful. I find myself like the Israelites, "wailing at the door of my tent" out of discontent, afraid that God means me harm and not good. Often, according to my actions,I believe down deep that I know what's best for me. Of course, I am not thinking this consciously. But it manifests in me through fear. I become afraid of what might happen. I fear that His plan is not good, and this in turn causes me to strive for control. Imagine how this shapes the thoughts I have during my day! SO I go through the day, trying to control certain things, frustrated obviously b/c even with all my efforts to control, I can't. And frustration and anger and fear consume. But all I know, if I'm not stopping and thinking things through, is that I feel panicky and sad and well, as I said, frustrated. And all of a sudden I'll have a moment where I realize how down I am, and say to myself,"why am I having such a bad day?" So this is why it is so important to listen to the quiet voice of the Spirit as He moves us to stop and consider, "What are you focused on here?".

I hope this makes sense. I have just been having these things running through my mind the last couple of days. I just threw it all out there! I just hope that I can be more aware of my thoughts and take them to the cross and to Jesus before I get taken by them.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-14T20:14:00.000-08:00

About my valentine....

He is always "up" for an adventure...

He loves animals of all kinds...

He makes me laugh...

He has impeccable manners...

He has taken me to see beautiful places...

He has a terrific smile...

To my best friend ever-- you have done so much to make me laugh, to see wonderful things in this world and to make me so happy I married you.

I love you.

Happy Valentines Day!!!!

A Trip to Remember

2008-02-11T12:14:00.000-08:00

I am finally back from a wonderful week at Disneyworld, yes, a full week. It was my first time being there for that long and I must say, I still would go back tomorrow if I could! It was so much fun with the whole family, minus Brian. He couldn't go (sigh). We missed him and even my 3 year old nephew, Wade ,asked, "where's Brian?". I told him he had to stay home and he said, "on trip day?" We did miss him. It's just not the same when he's not there.

I drove my parents down and we left Friday morning and returned this past Friday evening. At the beginning of the week it felt like time moved slowly. But by the end it seemed to be flying by. After spending a week with everybody I feel a little like something is missing right now sitting here by myself. As Wade says, "I need my friends." I had to call him yesterday to get my Wade "fix". I heard him ask Ashlie if Jennifer was still at her caste. He called his hotel at Disney his castle. Isn't that cute? He probably thinks the rest of us are still there!

Speaking of Wade, this was his first trip to Disney and being 3 years old we were all unsure what he'd think of the fireworks and the characters. For a little 3 year old those Characters must look pretty big!! He was scared of them for most of the week and Clark and Ashlie made sure there was distance b/t him and the characters. But on the last day we went to Chef Mickey's for breakfast and, breakthrough! He saw Mickey and the brightest smile lit up his face and he dove over me to get to Mickey, and then Minnie, and then eventually Pluto too. He never did warm up to Goofy like he did the others. He checked him out a little and did get close but there wasn't the love like with the others. He tolerated Goofy's goofiness. So here's a picure of him hiding from Eeyore at the first of the week. And here he is on our last day with Minnie. He also was afraid of the fireworks too but we saw them one night at a distance so there was no sound and he loved them. And so the next time we did see them up close he was not as afraid of the sound and by the next night, he loved them and watched with such childlike enthusiasm. He even loved the haunted mansion. Come to think of it, I think he liked everything! It's so fun to go to Disney with the kids. You see it in a whole new way and notice different things. I love going with Brian too it's just a whole different kind of fun.

But we were tired. Very tired. But the exhaustion is just part of it. We did get to stay on the monorail and that was so exciting and cut our so much wait time since we didn't have to wait in line for a shuttle every day. Mom, dad and I stayed at the polynesian hotel. We found out when we got there they had upgraded us to a room on the bottom floor by the lagoon so we had a view of the castle!! SO COOL! And our back door opened up to a yard and beyond that a beach with a hammock and lawn chairs. That was a huge bonus.

We were on the dining plan which means you get a counter service meal and a dine in meal and a snack everyday as part of the plan. Every meal includes entree, drink and dessert. Needless to say we were full all the time!! I miss that good food I tell ya (But I don't miss the bloated feeling I got after every single meal!).

Here's a funny memory: We were walking the Jungle trek in Africa in the Animal Kingdom park and had stopped to rest. A couple was passing by and Wade just walked right out in front of the man and spread his arms and legs like he was not going to allow the man to pass. He would watch the man's feet and wherever he'd move Wade would move in front. The man was very good about it and thought it was funny. I thought it was hilarious! I was just surprised at how un-shy Wade was.

Another funny moment was at Chef Mickey's when Goofy sat in my brother's seat while he was up getting food and began emptying packet after packet of sweetener into Clark's coffee cup. Then he took all the "evidence" and put it onto the table of the family next to us, who also thought it was hysterical. I don't know how Goofy managed to get those tiny packets open with those paws of his. But he did and when he got up and left Jack turned to Jennifer and said "that was hilarious!" It was, and remarkably, Clark didn't even notice anything different about his coffee! We all waited to see what he'd do, and he didn't even notice. Funny.

Here are some more great pics that capture just a few of the many happy memories:

It's "official"!

2008-01-26T18:42:00.000-08:00

We've made a decision on the name. We finally came to an agreement that Ava Lynn Hoa Dempsey will be her name. But for those who just can't wait to monogram (Ashlie!), she will go by Ava Lynn Dempsey. So there you have it. I wish I could hold her and say to her "Hi, Ava, I'm your mommy!" One day. Brian and I were daydreaming about that tonight over dinner. I was asking him if we were going to try to videotape the first moment we meet her. He said, and I agreed with him, that he just wants to be in the moment, not videoing the moment. Maybe our translator will be willing to do that for us. We'll see. But if not then we will always have it in our memories. That's special enough. Oh, I can't wait!!!!

What's in A Name?

2008-01-23T10:50:00.001-08:00

Okay, everybody is wondering about the name. We are most likely to name her Ava. Before we got the picture, Brian and I never could nail it down. He didn't show too much enthusiasm over any of the ones on our list, so I wasn't sure for a long time what'd it be. I always like Ava the best. So when we got the picture and new documents I said that we need to decide on the name, and he told me that he likes Ava. Ava means, "like a bird", so that's pretty fitting, huh? So, unless we have a change of mind, which I doubt, that's what it will be. Sorry Jennifer. But you know Brian, he likes to keep his options open. So you never know, you never know. There is a document that has to be sent back out in in a couple of days and on it we have to write her American name. So soon it will be official and I'll let you know for sure.

I also wanted to explain the Vietnamese name. We read about this the other night b/c we didn't understand it at first. The first name, Nguyen, is actually the family name. And over 40% of the Vietnamese population have Nguyen as their family name (Interesting. Just one big happy family?). Her middle name, Thi, means "Poem", but this also is a VERY common middle name. It also distinguishes the gender of the baby. The last name, Hoa (pronounced Hwa), is her given name. It means "flower". (Brian bought her a pink fuzzy pj outfit that has "flower" written across it. So cute). So we may use Hoa as a second middle name. Right now we are thinking about Ava Lynn Hoa Dempsey. This full name would be on all her legal documents but for everyday use, school and such, she would just use Ava Lynn Dempsey. But as she gets older, if she wanted to use her Vietnamese name, there would be less difficulty since it would already be on her passport, and other legal documents. So that's the story there. Like I said, nothing is certain yet, but we're pretty sure. Clear as mud?

Introducing......Our Daughter

2008-01-21T22:34:00.000-08:00

"For This Child I Prayed, and the Lord Has Granted Me What I Asked of Him." I Sam. 2:27

Here she is!!!! How long I've waited to see her!! How many hours did I sit and wonder what she was going to look like?!? It's a little surreal to look at her photo and know that she is meant to join our family. I sometimes still can't believe it. What a precious baby. I couldn't have dreamed of such a lovely little person. I find myself staring at her picture, looking it over and studying every little part of her. Her fingers look so long and her feet so small. Her hair is a riot! I love it. I just can't wait to hold her and kiss those sweet cheeks and lips. I want to know what it feels like to pick her up. I just sit back and imagine. I pray it won't be too long before we get to experience all these wonderful things.

It has been an incredible journey, and yet, I feel we're only half way there. Still much paperwork to do and of course, the trip to Vietnam. She seems so far away, sort of unobtainable. Do I dare dream of holding this precious girl? This is what one half of my brain thinks, but then, I can't help it- I am quickly drawn back into a state of imagining. I read my sister's blog entry tonight. She wrote much more eloquently than I could about my own journey to this point. It's strange, that all seems sort of distant from me now, the pain and the disappointment. I am all wrapped up in this baby now, this moment. It's a miraculous thing really. God has been faithful. He's walked with us through it all and drawn us to this place and to this child. There was a lot He wanted to teach me about Himself and a lot of things I need to learn about who I am. I've come out of it more aware of who I am in Him. So I'm thankful. I am thankful that it took what it did to get me here, to get us here. It was hard. It hurt. But God was there and never left. It's usually the painful things that open us up to learning, isn't it? Sometimes I think, "Okay, I think I've learned enough for a while!"! But though we want the grace of relief He faithfully gives the grace of refinement. God is gloriously discontent to leave us in our present state. He wants more for us. And so He does exactly what is needed. And that is how we learn who He is. We get to experience His faithfulness and see just how He works things out, better than we could've imagined. And even though it's not the way in which we thought it'd come, or in the time we thought, we get to see that it is good. And so then, the next time we begin to question, we can reflect back on His faithfulness in the past, and our faith then gets bolstered. We remember what we've learned, what we've seen. This is how faith grows.

These are the lyrics to a song that I listened to and thought about a lot through the last few years. I found it to be incredibly encouraging. These are just the first couple of verses.

Be Still My Soul

"Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake

To guide the future, as He has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know

His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below."

It's so reassuring. He has it all in His hands, the past, the future, and even now, as we wait, He holds our precious girl in His hands. We can't hold her, or soothe her tears, but He is the Comforter. He sees her. He loves her. He will hold her for us. Be still my soul.

Good night sweet girl. We love you and we will see you soon.

A White Christmas

2008-01-15T12:47:00.000-08:00

Has it been 2 weeks since my last blog entry? yikes! Time flies! So finally I am going to post some pictures from our Christmas in New York. We had a great time. We got to stay for 6 days which is our longest visit yet. We had to make up some time for not being able to go the last few years. It had been 3 years since we'd been able to go for Christmas! Too long. So we got there Christmas Day, well, evening. There was snow on the ground-how beautiful. It didn't actually snow though until the night before we left. But I got to see a lot of it. So, I think maybe that's my first white Christmas ever! How fun!

So we got lots of time with the kids. They were thrilled to have their uncle Brian there to climb around on like a jungle gym. He's got a lot more energy than I do! They have grown so much! Sarah is turning into a beautiful young girl. She would just sit with me and have these grown-up conversations with me. Silas was just wild as ever but sweet as can be! He's got quite a wit that one. He gave a painting for Christmas that he did all by himself of a "chicken or rooster swimming in milk". It's really does look just like that too! We spent lots of time playing games and many hours playing one of Brian's favorites...monopoly. Jennifer was a good competitor for him. She won one and he won another. I never won. I was really just there to learn. That's my excuse anyway! I'm terrible at that game. Fun times. AND I finally got to see Brian's parents newly remodeled kitchen, and living room. They completely redid them--new floors, cabinets, carpet, appliance, furniture--the works. They did it maybe 2 or so years ago and I hadn't gotten to see until now. It's beautiful! They did a great job on it, and it looks completely different!

So all in all, a great trip. We got some good pictures of the snow from the last night there. It snowed maybe 5 inches that night so the drive to the airport was GORGEOUS! New, fresh, clean snow. Love it. The picture of the barn is of their big back yard, and the small tree is in the front yard. The spruce (I think it's a spruce!) is in their side yard. The snow just made everything look so peaceful. Enjoy the pics!

I'm going to do another entry from Christmas in Athens. That way, everybody can see the pictures from that too. Maybe it won't be 2 weeks before that gets done!

Vegas, Baby!

2008-01-05T19:44:00.000-08:00

So, I'm catching up on my blogs, here. I have several things I haven't written about yet that I intend to, so bear with me. I'm a little behind from our travelling and other unexpected things that popped up. So, at the beginning of December Jack told Brian that he had tickets for the rodeo final in Vegas. Brian and Jack had talked about Vegas before because Jack goes every once in a while and Brian has always wanted to go. So Jack called Brian and asked if we might want to go. He said that if I went that Sherry would go too. I was not sure that I wanted to go. I've just never had much desire to see it. But in the end, I decided to go and I'm glad that I did. We had a great time! It was definitely something to see! We stayed at Bally's which is connected up to the Paris, which is where Jack and Sherry stayed. Across the street is the Bellagio which is next to Caesar's Palace. We walked over there one night to see the Christmas lights they have up and to see the shopping areas. The Christmas decorations were so cool! They had these huge reindeer covered in pecan shells that went up from floor to ceiling to look like they were taking off in flight. I'll put some pictures up of those. The shopping in Caesar's palace hotel was unbelievable. Big time designer shops. The shops were ones I'd heard of but didn't bother going in b/c I knew they were way out of my price range. But it was fun to walk through. There were big statues as part of the water fountains and every once in a while they would start to move and talk. Yes, in Vegas, you even get to see a show while you shop. We walked around and went into several different hotels while we were there just to check them out. They are something else. Just incredible. Each one was so different. Sherry and I did some Christmas shopping while the guys did there thing. We also got to see the musical The Producers which starred Tony Danza (he's got a great voice by the way). The rodeo was fun too actually. We really had a good time and guess who performed there at the rodeo?.......Who else but Lee Greenwood! We heard him sing, "God bless the USA", of course. Brian was so thrilled about that (I say this with great sarcasm!). Boy, That crowd was all into him! It was one patriotic crowd let me tell ya. It was a Lee Greenwood fest!!

I was surprised actually by how much fun I had. There was so much to do. We only skimmed the surface, so I'm sure we'll head back one day. Overall, a surprisingly wonderful trip.

A New Year

2008-01-01T23:43:00.000-08:00

The first day of a new year....so strange. It sorta feels like I just skipped over 2007. It's sort of like a dream! It seems like it flew by. I'll have to get my daily calendar out and remind myself of all that happened. I didn't have time to reflect much today as we just got back from New York and I spent the day unpacking and cleaning and doing laundry. But here we are in a New Year despite the flurry. Every year I think "what will this new year hold?". I spend a little time dreaming about it and wondering and realizing that the past year held things I could never have thought of. And so I suppose this year will be the same. I will sit and wonder and dream, all the time knowing that God has a plan that exceeds my own. It will hold fun, exciting times, new things, sad things, and in the midst of it all.... there He is. He will be there, with me as I walk the days of this year. I am so thankful that I can count on that. Nothing else is sure. But this I know...God loves me and He is with me. So as I think of the next year and what may come, my thoughts don't need to be worrisome ones b/c I know He holds my days in His hands. I can dream and rest in His promise to be with me always...."And SURELY goodness AND mercy will follow me all the days of my life...."

Christmas House in Lights

2007-12-02T19:56:00.001-08:00

What a fun video! I've always loved Christmas lights and this is one of the coolest displays I've seen. Enjoy! And remember to turn off my blog music just scroll down and press the pause button on the sonic song spot on the right side of your screen.

Trimming the Tree

2007-11-28T23:24:00.000-08:00

We FINALLY got the tree up yesterday. I usually have it up much earlier so we can enjoy it for a longer amount of time, but maybe I'll just leave it up longer than usual this year. We got the tree ready to decorate and put in the movie Christmas Vacation and got a snack ready to enjoy while decorating. Then we began to dig out the ornaments. When we got married, we began a tradition of buying an ornament every time we took a trip anywhere. So needless to say we have a good many now. But I love getting them out and saying, "oh, remember when we went to..."! It's a great trip down memory lane. Of course we have about half a dozen or more ornaments from Disneyworld!! We have ornaments from Virginia, North Carolina, Savannah, Florida, St. John, the Bahamas, Gatlinburg. Sounds like we need to get off the East Coast some time, huh? But that's all the ones I can remember. We have multiples from some of those. But I do love them. The ornaments mean something to me, and I like that. Dad has also begun a tradition of giving us all a Baldwin ornament every year. These are brass ornaments that are so ornate and every year they come out with new designs. So we have about ten or more of these. Brian and I decided tonight that one day we will have a "fancy" tree that has the Baldwin ornaments on it and white lights and then have a "fun" tree that has our travel ornaments and colored lights on it. That will be fun and then everyone can really see all the Baldwin ornaments all together. They are so pretty. Here are a couple of them. Notice that Santa's rocking chair has Christmas cookies in it and the book, Twas The Night Before Christmas! And Santa's cozy quilt is thrown over the back of the chair.

So we had an evening full of Christmas cheer. And now the living room is all cozy with soft Christmas lights and decorations. I love it!! I think I might go warm up some of my recently purchased nestle hot chocolate and sit and enjoy it all. What a great way to end the day.

Turkey, dressing and Pie, Oh My!!

2007-11-23T20:09:00.000-08:00

What a nice time we had at my sister-in-law's house. Ashlie and Clark have enough room in their beautiful home to hold all of us adults and kids quite comfortably. We all slept over, except mom and dad. Poor mom and Clark, they had to get up and go to work this morning--yuck! But what a good time we had and SO MUCH good food! We had TWO turkeys, one smoked and one roasted. We had a ham that mom and dad brought and tons of casseroles. Brian loved that! And desserts...we had chocolate pie that was just sinful it was so good, and a pumpkin roll and red velvet cupcakes. Too much! I felt like I need to try it all, and I did! We had plenty for left-overs too. So Brian and I had thanksgiving dinner again tonight at home, minus the green bean casserole I made b/c I left it at Ashlie's on accident, how sad. More for them I guess. We didn't need it anyway.

But it was just a lovely day all around. It was full of good conversation and the kids kept us laughing. Short example: Mom, Courtney and I were in the office with Wade, my brother's 3 year old son, and he was telling all of us that we were characters from Scooby-Doo. This is one of his new favorite shows. I was Daphne, Jennifer was Velma b/c she has glasses now, and mom was Shaggy (not sure how that worked out!) and then he told Courtney she was the ghost. And she said okay. Then he backed up and looked at her with furrowed brow and a worried look and he slowly walked into the foyer and ran as fast as he could into the living room. Clark later told me that when he went into the living room, he noticed that Wade looked strange and he asked Wade what was wrong. He said "there's a ghost." and Clark said "where?" and Wade told him it was in the office. Clard said "there's no ghost Wade" and he said "yes there is!" and then began to cry. He was very scared and upset!! So Clark had to come in and find out what was going on and why Wade was so scared. How funny what goes on in those little minds of theirs! SO CUTE.

I thought everyone might like to see a picture of the kids. Jennifer's kids are getting so grown up. Courtney is now as tall as I am. Unbelievable. Time flies. The pictures of all the kids at the fireplace was funny, it's hard to get all the kids to cooperate simultaneously! But at least you can see all the kids together. And I also include a picture of my pumpkin log that I was very proud of. I don't bake very often so this a big thing for me! It turned out to be quite good. Yay me! So I hope everyone had a great holiday! Enjoy the photos.>

Thanksgiving Day

2007-11-21T20:48:00.000-08:00

Well, it's almost midnight as I post this so I will consider it officially Thanksgiving Day. We have so much to be thankful for every year but especially this year. I feel like it has gone so fast but a lot has happened and a lot hasn't happened (and sometimes that's a good thing if you know what I mean!). Here's a few things I'm thankful for:

Our progress in the adoption process, and I'm SO thankful that the paperwork is done!

My family is healthy, minus a few colds here and there, but God has blessed us this year with a healthy family once again.

I'm thankful that we are going to gather all together tomorrow and eat turkey and my mom's delicious dressing, casseroles, and lots of dessert, and we will share love and laughs.

I am also thankful that this year brought no major catastrophies with our house! Yay! That's a big one!

I'm thankful that God continues to teach me more about Himself.

I'm thankful that Brian is still enjoying his job at the office.

I'm thankful that we get to come home to a cozy house everyday.

I'm thankful that once we get home we enjoy being there and with each other.

I'm thankful for God's faithfulness to me despite my lack of it.

I'm thankful for our church and for the friendships we've made there.

I'm thankful for the new addition to my brother's family---Yay Brooks!

We are blessed with a lot here. I could go on and on. There's a lot to enjoy in life, and then there are things that are difficult, things we would rather have removed from our lives. But there is purpose even in those things. Sometimes my focus gets fixed on the things on want to see go, those hard, ugly things that make my life difficult. I become fixated on those. But I have to do like I'm doing now, and ask God to open my eyes to all the good things that He has given to me to enjoy. Sometimes, because they have always been there, I take them for granted. Like my family for instance, and my home. And even the beauty in nature. If we sit and think, really think and take notice, we would see all that we've been given and our hearts would pour out gratitude to Him. When we are thinking about all we have to be thankful for it becomes a little more difficult to complain...our complaining turns to praise! We just have to shift the focus. That's what I want to do more of.
Will you join me? Let's start today!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!!!!

Beauty Among Friends

2007-11-13T12:48:00.000-08:00

There's nothing like sitting down and visiting with a friend you've known for years and years. Being known, really known, without having to explain anything about your past because they already know you. I appreciate this a lot more now after moving away from the town in which I grew up. Starting new friendships can be fun and refreshing and rewarding but it is definitely a challenge. I found this quote and wanted to send it out to all my friends (family counts as friends too!) reading this blog. Thank you for being there and I am so grateful to God for all of you.

"Special friends strike a resonant chord in your heart, there is something about them, some aspect of beauty or goodness that reminds you of God. I have an inkling that when you see the face of God in heaven you will say, "Yes, I always knew You!" It was Him all along that you loved whenever you were with that treasured person. In friendship, God opens your eyes to the glories of Himself, and the greater the number of friends with whom you share deep and selfless love, the better and more clear the picture of God you will have." Joni Eareckson Tada

Thank you for reflecting the glory of God to me through your friendship. Love you all.

In Celebration of Our Birthdays and Anniversary

2007-11-08T20:28:00.000-08:00

October is always a fun month b/c we both have out birthdays and our anniversary. This year we celebrated both by going to St. Simon's Island. We decided to stay at The King and Prince. So Friday evening we headed out to Brunswick. We had a great ride. Brian made us a cd with music we BOTH like. Our taste in music is so different, but there are some songs we agree on so we just mixed those up and got them on a cd. Brian has gotten me to venture out a little and listen to some "new" stuff. I still can't get him to listen to my Disney cd's though! So we listened to our new cd and talked. It was a fun ride. I love road trips with Bri!! We always have good laughs and conversation.

I put a picture of the building our room was in down at the bottom of the entry. You can see our room on the bottom floor right behind our car. The hotel had a main building and then several separater buildings around it. We were in the Oglethorpe House. The room was not right on the water but close. It was a big room with a little kitchenette. You could tell it was old though with the musty smell and older tub and faucets. It hadn't been updated in a while BUT it was SO cozy! We could get the room dark in the afternoons which means it was a great room for the perfect nap!
We ate delicious food while we were there and the shopping was excellent. There was a cute little village area with cute stores and restaurants close by. The weather while we were there was PERFECT... chilly but sunny!!! Great for walking. And the water was beautiful, so sparkly in the sun. One morning while waiting for the brunch to start at the hotel, we sat in a swing on the lawn right off the beach and looked at the water. It was incredibly relaxing. It really was one of the most relaxing trips we've had. I don't know why that was. But it's one for the history books! I'm so thankful that we've been able to take many trips together. I love getting away with him, alone, without the stresses of work around him and on his mind. It's nice to just be able to concentrate on one another. I know Brian's thankful for that too. It's easier to do that I'm sure when there aren't kids running around. So I know things will change soon. We want to enjoy this last bit of time just the two of us by doing as much of that sort of things as we can. But it was just a wonderful trip and I'm grateful that we got to go. Here are some pics! Enjoy.

Beauty

2007-11-01T12:41:00.001-07:00

You all know that I love the Fall. There is something about it. The colors, the smell, the crisp air. I find myself in awe over it. This week has been so beautiful and the weather is perfect fall weather. When I take the dogs outside I find myself just standing somewhat trance-like staring at the colors on the trees. It's like I can't get enough! I don't want to look away because I know soon they'll be gone and I just want to drink it all in while I can. This week in my Bible study I am reading about beauty and why it's around us. In the bible study are these words:
"Why did God create a world of such beauty? Was it primarily for His enjoyment or for ours? John Piper, in a sermon on The pleasure of God talks about the intricate beauty of the fish that live so deep in the ocean that, for thousands of years, man never knew of or saw, much less enjoyed, their beauty. God obviously created these particular fish for His own pleasure. Our love and enjoyment of beauty is part of God's image in us."

In Genesis, we read how God made every living creature on the earth. In Genesis 1:31 it says that God saw everything that He had made and indeed it was VERY good. He loved His creation. He enjoyed His creation. And I believe that because He made us in His image, that is why we enjoy creation. Don't you think that He loves it when we look around at what He has made and say to ourselves "it's very good!!"?

In Revelation it speaks of the new earth that is to come when Jesus returns and the description of it is unbelievable! I can't wait to see it. Listen to this describing the new Jerusalem: "her(the city) light was like a most precious stone, like a jasper stone, clear as crystal....The construction of its wall was of jasper and the city was pure gold like clear glass. The foundations of the wall of the city were adorned with all kinds of precious stones: the first foundation was jasper, the second sapphire, the third chalcedony, the fourth emerald, the fifth sardonyx, the sixth sardius, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth chrysoprase, the eleventh jacinth, and the twelfth amethyst. The twelve gates were twelve pearls: each individual gate was of one pearl. And the street of the city was pure gold, like transparent glass!" Can you even imagine such a beautiful place?!!

From my Bible study again: "The dictionary defines beauty as 'the quality in anything that gives pleasure because it somehow begins to fill our deep longings. There is a mystery in beauty that defies logic or quantification. We don't always know why we find something beautiful, but we experience an inner stirring of pleasure that longs for more. What if all beauty is ultimately a reflection of God? We could say beauty is the visible symbol of the unseen glory of God."

"Ah, but we want so much more....we do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words--to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it." C.S. Lewis

And that is exactly how I feel when I'm at the mountains in the fall and I see all the beautiful tree tops filled with color. I want to step out into it and be enveloped by it. But I realize now, it's not the colors or the weather themselves that draw me in. It's that I'm looking at a part of God Himself. It is God that my heart truly desires. It is heaven and eternity with God. That state of COMPLETE rest and peace and beauty untainted by the sin of this world. To be with God forever, the one who created all this beauty. But for now, I will look at the world and see the beauty in His creation realizing that this is God's revelation of Himself here on this earth to all of us. I want to be a person who will take the time everyday and see Him around me, in the little things that bring joy inexpressible to my heart. And one day, I will get to see heaven and the King in all His glory. Sometimes I try to imagine what it will be like. Brian says that when we get there he thinks that we'll say, "I had no idea!". I think this is true. What beauty we shall see!

Family

2007-10-29T20:36:00.000-07:00

Brian and I had a great weekend with his parents. Every spring and fall they come through either on their way to or from Florida. It's always great to see them b/c we don't get to see them as often as we like. Especially the last few years. It seems like every time we have a visit planned it gets postponed due to, well, different things. But we did get to see them this weekend and it was a fun, relaxing visit for everyone I think. They were thoroughly entertained by the mischief of one dog named Grissom. He never slowed down, not once! Except at night when we'd put him away in his crate. But come morning he was full blast! It took him a few minutes to warm up to them but he soon realized he had new friends to lick (yuck!) and to play with! Shiloh was her normal sweet but quiet self. The weather was gorgeous too so we got outside with the dogs a little.

We are just so thankful to have such wonderful family on both sides. We both enjoy being with each other's family and I think that's a pretty rare thing. Both our parents have set examples of what marital commitment means and I KNOW that is a rare thing these days. So thank you, moms and dads, for that. It is nice to reflect on that as we just celebrated our 6Th anniversary. We're just startin' out but you've set us out on the right road.

So we are looking forward to seeing my family in a few weeks for a brief visit and then again at thanksgiving. Then we will get to see all of Brian's family in December during a long visit then...finally back to New York after what?...3 years for me I think. That's so weird that it's been that long! I look forward to it. Maybe I'll even see some snow which is an added bonus!

Until our next visits, everybody take care and we love you very much and thank you for loving us as you do!!

Need A Laugh?

2007-10-24T18:29:00.001-07:00

This was so cute I had to share. He sings with much conviction! Remember that to turn off my blog music you need to scroll to the bottom of the blog and hit pause on the music songspot.

Our Special Evening

2007-10-21T22:06:00.000-07:00

Thursday night, Brian had a special event to go to for work and he asked if I would be willing to go with him. Of course I told him I would. So we dressed up and headed out to Jonesboro for a not so fun reception for the Clayton county elected officials. It was one of those things you don't really want to do but you know you have to make an appearance, shake a few hands, yada yada yada. So we got to the place where they said they were holding the event and lo and behold, the doors were locked and everything was dark! Brian looks at me and says, "YES!!!" ! Then he thought maybe it was being held at the civic center so we drove over there and there were no lights on and no cars. There was no one we could call to figure out what was going on. Brian was so thrilled when he realized that we didn't have to go through with it. He yanked off his tie and said "now let's you and me go to a nice restaurant to eat since we're all dressed up. I'm so happy that you and I can have a nice evening out together!". So we went over to downtown McDonough and tried a restaurant we'd never been to before called Seasons. There weren't many people there so it was very quiet. They seated us in the back in these high back leather chairs close to the fireplace. We got fried risotto balls for appetizer along with bread. Then we ordered Autumn butternut squash soup---delicious. Brian had a Cornish game hen with the best mashed sweet potatoes I've ever tasted! The must have used a whole stick of butter! I ordered this great fish with vegetables. They took time bringing out each course so it wasn't rushed. It was incredibly relaxing. And what a treat---we thought we were headed out for a rather boring evening and it ended up being simply wonderful all the way around! That was a terrific birthday surprise for us both.

Brian

2007-10-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

"There are no words to express the abyss between isolation and having one ally. It may be conceded to the mathematician that four is twice two. But two is not twice one; two is two thousand times one." GK Chesterton

When I read this quote in a book my sister recently gave me, I immediately put a heart next to it along with one word, "Brian". I am so blessed that God chose this man to be in my life. He is my ally and has fought with me and beside me through a lot. I can count on him stand along side me in life. These are a few things about Brian I love and that you may not know!

Brian...
1. ..is a truly kind person
2. ..is a very witty person that makes me laugh till I am gasping for air!
3. ..is a risk taker ( a little scary for me since I like consistency. "no changes please!")
4. ..is an independent thinker. He doesn't just go with the crowd (this a really challenged me to think independently too)
5. ..is optimistic--the glass is always half full (we are really different in this area since I tend to be a pessimist. I choose to think of it as being realistic! I love that he stops me and reminds me to think positively.)
6. ..is a hard worker. And he enjoys working.
7. ..enjoys taking care of his family and does not resent it.
8. ..enjoys being home. I like that he enjoys being here.
9. ..encourages me to try new things. I need a push in order to do this. And b/c he does this I have learned that it is good to take risks, and that good things can come from it. Although it still does not come naturally to me.
10. ..is intelligent and so good at thinking through issues and ideas
11. ..is a good singer and I love to hear him singing beside me at church. It makes me feel happy.
12. ..thinks I'm pretty okay too and lets me know this consistently
13. ..does great voice impressions (not many people know this!)
14. ..compliments me sincerely on a regular basis (ladies, you know we need this!)
15. ..loves kids and is so good at talking with them in a way that makes them know that what they think is important and interesting to him.
16. ..makes awesome lasagna
17. ..does not love Disneyworld like I do but he still got us annual passes and has been with me at least 6 times now!
18. ..wants to make me happy.
19. ..is great at picking out the perfect gift for people.
20. ..likes to be spontaneous.
21. ..LOVES his pets, uhhhh, a whole lot!!
22. ..is a wonderful employer and looks for ways to encourage his employees.
23. ..had his own "business" in highschool. He sold chips and candy out of his locker at school! He has quite an entrepeneurial spirit!
24. ..is my best friend EVER.

HAPPY 35th BIRTHDAY BRIAN!!!!! I LOVE YOU.

On the List

2007-10-11T19:40:00.000-07:00

The agency received all of our papers (minus the one we're waiting on from California) this week and as of yesterday we are officially on the waiting list!! Yeehaw!! So, if there is a 3-6 month waiting period for the referral, and we travel a couple of months after we get the referral, then it's around 9 months until we get the baby---sort of like we're pregnant!! This time, it will really happen. No crazy emotional roller coasters. As I said before in an earlier post, it's still surreal. But we're getting closer and that feels good.

I was thinking about something the other day. There is a woman out there right now, living in Vietnam and pregnant. And she is carrying the child that we will one day hold, and love and kiss goodnight. There will be a delivery and there will be tears (sad or happy, I don't know). What about the mom? Is she worried, sad, alone? Does she wish that she could keep her child or is she already wishing for the day she can let it go? What are her living conditions like? Is she able to eat healthy things and get medical attention? Is she younger or older? I'm so curious, but I will never know these things. But I do know that God sees her and He knows her heart. And he knows the baby that she is carrying, our baby. Will you please pray for her and for the baby? Pray for her protection and that the baby will be healthy and safe wherever she may choose to leave her. Pray for the delivery of the baby that it goes smoothly and that she has a good doctor. Pray that our baby will be cared for well during that short but important part of her life. Strange to think of those things isn't it? I feel so out of control and that's not easy for me. But I trust the One who is in control. He sees it all. Thank you God for all you've already done, and all you are doing and will do for us. What grace you have given us.

D-O-N-E!!

2007-10-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

....well, almost. I went to Atlanta this week and got the extra document state sealed and then mailed it off to California. I was a little bummed that I have to wait an additional 2 weeks for that to come back. But my coordinator at the agency emailed me yesterday and let me know that I could mail in my dossier without the document and just mail it to her as soon as it comes back from California. Once she gets the dossier she will go ahead and put us on the referral waiting list. So I went to the post office today and mailed our dossier to her and she should get it by 3 o'clock tomorrow---Yippee!!! And by the way, just to give everyone an idea on how much paperwork there was to mail off, the shipping was almost $30.00! That's a lot of paper! So we will be "officially" on the waiting list. I asked if the wait time is still 3-6 months and she said it was but that she does expect it be go up b/c so many people are wanting girls. So we may end up waiting a little longer than we initially thought but you never know, we may not. I'm trying to remain flexible! No expectations. It is weird though, not having a set date on when we'll go to Vietnam. It definitely makes this whole thing seem not so real. I don't feel rushed to get things done b/c part of me figures I'll have plenty of time and it all seems like an illusion of sorts. But I should really be kicking things into gear NOW b/c it will probably all sneak up on me!
So, it's a little strange having the paperwork all in the mail. It's surreal! I keep thinking, "Did I get everything in there and is it all correct?". I feel like something is missing! We'll find out if so. So there it is, the big light at the end of the tunnel, and it's shining brighter than ever.

Oh, The Paperwork!

2007-09-28T09:40:00.000-07:00

Well, we were SOOO close to being finished! I gathered up and organized all the final paperwork to send off to the agency and took it over to the post office yesterday, and when I got there realized that I had forgotten something. So I thought to myself that I would just take it Friday morning before Brian and I headed out of town. I was a little frustrated with myself but thought, "okay, it's really no big deal". When I got home that evening, I saw a that a letter from the agency had come in the mail. The letter stated that Vietnam now requires the full homestudy report instead of the two-page report (that we had paid extra to acquire!) and they need an extra $100 also. So it really was a good thing that I had not sent the package out or else we would have had to wait to get it back before getting the new items in it. Providence saves the day once more! So now I have to go back to downtown Atlanta to get the full-page version of the homestudy certified and authenticated. At least this time I know where I'm going. Hopefully that can get done Monday or Tuesday. We will definitely push for that. SO, not too much longer..."Patience, my pet!".

The Homestead

2007-09-27T06:27:00.000-07:00

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I thought I would post some pictures of our house b/c I know it's changed a little bit since some of you have seen it. No drastic changes but little things here and there, maybe only things I myself would notice. We have a humble home, but we have enjoyed it and it is thoroughly cozy. It has been perfect for our needs. However, two dogs (if Mr. Playtime stays) and a baby will make it seem a little smaller than it feels now. As you all know, I love the Fall and so I decorated the house with those colors. My sister loves bright colors, but I love the cozy warm tones. It's funny, when we look at pictures of rooms in books or magazines, the differences in our tastes and preferences really become apparent!! We are opposites in that way. Except we do both love red, so we do have that in common. The warm colors are definitely what I'm drawn to. I just recently painted our from door red. It was white before. I've wanted a red door for a long time and finally got the nerve up to do it. It was pretty challenging but worth the effort in the end. Brian and I pressure washed the porch and rails the other night and unfortunately some of the water hit the front door and chipped off a couple of tiny spots. Bummer!! I think it can be touched up though. But I think the red door does give the house a little curb appeal since we don't have any flowers planted in the yard right now. The guest room will eventually become the baby's room. I will definitely put some pictures up of that when we get started and when we finish. But for now, enjoy the little tour of the homestead.

Doggie Update

2007-09-26T19:17:00.000-07:00

So, I thought I'd update everyone on how Grissom is doing. Obviously, we still have him. A weekend has turned into a week and I suspect a week will turn into, well.....we're not sure yet! We have discussed maybe fostering him while the humane society posts listings for him. Brian would sure love to keep him. I'm becoming more attached but he just takes so much energy! I can see putting this much energy into a child, but a dog?!? Maybe I'm just used to Shiloh and her lazy ways. Grissom is cute and he seems to be learning how he SHOULD behave around Shiloh, but he regresses a good bit. He is great at going outside to do his business too which is very important! Shiloh sets a good example there. Shiloh seems to be a little more used to him now although he does interrupt her naps and she does not seem altogether pleased about that. That is a line he doesn't want to cross! He loves to play with his toys and he really wants nothing to do with sleeping. He's just like the energizer bunny!
We took him to get his shots and he will be neutered soon. Maybe that will help with some of the aggression.
We took him with us when we babysat the kids last week and Jack just seemed to have a ball with him. I was nervous that he would snap at Jack b/c he does that as he plays. Jack was loving it though and even though he did get little snips from Grissom here and there, he had a great time with him. Jack wore the little guy out so he slept all the way home. Every time Grissom would snip at Jack, Brian would say, "Are you okay?" and Jack finally said, "why do you keep asking me if I'm okay?" ! So apparently Jack didn't mind too much.
So we'll see where it goes from here. He might just crawl right up into my heart one of these days! You never know, you never know.

A Very Special Guest

2007-09-21T09:02:00.000-07:00

We have a new member of the family, well, at least for the weekend. His name is Grissom (b/c he is always sniffing for "clues" like the dude on CSI) and we actually don't know how old he is. We think he's a beagle and maybe dachshund mix, and yes, he does have on a doggie diaper! You never know what a puppy is going to do and when! Gail, who works with Brian, found him under her car one day last week and has been caring for him since. She was going out of town this weekend so she asked if we could keep him and of course Brian was thrilled to take on that duty! He was as excited as when we adopted Shiloh. So Grissom has been with us since Thursday. He is VERY much a puppy still. He is very different from Shiloh who just sleeps all day. Grissom has things to chew and things to sniff so you'd better just get out of his way! Especially if you don't want your toes to become a chew toy! But he does great in a crate so when he gets a little carried away that's a great place for a rest. He's sort of brought out the puppy in Shiloh (to an extent!). It's sort of a little brother type of situation. He just would love it if Shiloh would play with him and he just aggravates her to death to no avail. Shiloh just stands there and takes it and ignores him as much as she can. When we brought out all of Shiloh's toys that she NEVER played with she all of a sudden became VERY interested in them when she saw Grissom was enjoying them. Doesn't that sound just like something a sibling would do?!!

So,it's been quite an adventure here. We'll see how the rest of the weekend goes. Brian will be so sad to see him go. He IS very cute and has the sort of crazy eyes that are just a little too big for his face...adorable. And he's just so tiny. What a cutie!

Choices

2007-09-19T12:34:00.000-07:00

There are times in life when we have to choose what we are going to believe about God. I have been faced with this choice many times. There have been moments when what I was faced with was inconsistent with my expectations and I had to stop and reevaluate my perspective. Things happen in our lives that we don't understand and that seem cruel and unmerciful and sometimes, just not fair. When we are faced with these moments we have a choice to make: what are we going to believe about God? Who are we going to believe that He is? Merciful? Loving? Sovereign? It's not always easy to believe these things, especially when we only see hard times coming. I was just thinking about these things today and I got out some old journals b/c I remembered having written some things down about this. So I thought I would share some of it with you all. Some of it is quotes from authors I love and some just my own thoughts so hopefully it's not too confusing!
Dec. 12, 2004: "Lamentations 3:9-'He has blocked my way with hewn stone; He has made my paths crooked.'....Exactly how I feel! I'm so thankful though to know I'm not the only one who has felt this way! Vs. 8 too: 'So I say, My strength has perished from the Lord. And so has my hope from the Lord.'. ... But maybe this is where the rubber meets the road. What do I believe? Is God God or not?"
"We are given opportunity daily to reopen the question--Is God really God?... yes, when He does what I think He ought to. no, when He doesn't. I'll trust Him when things are going my way, and I'll reopen the question when things fall apart. Sovereign? well, I think so. Loving? some of the time. Able to save to the uttermost? Hmmmmmm. He IS God. Settle it. Be still and know it. Refuse to consider. The decision is a lifetime decision, and when other gods ring the doorbell, we need not bother to answer, except to remind ourselves: The king of glory is the Lord of hosts, Him alone I will trust and obey."
"Lazarus was sick. His sisters sent word to Jesus, sure that He would come immediately to heal him, But Jesus did not budge. So it happens some times with us. We are in urgent need of God's help. We ask for it. It does not come, We easily conclude that God is not listening , or that He does not care about our concerns, or that all the promises of His love have broken down. John 11:6: 'though He loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus, after hearing of his illness Jesus waited for two days'. Loving and waiting. The two things do not seem to us to go together, not in the middle of our particular situation. But the story lights up a facet we would miss. The glory of God is wrought through suffering and death which are strictly temporary. God is engineering things we can hardly dream of. Lazarus' story opens our eyes. He was indeed very ill. Mary and Martha were desperate. He died. THEN Jesus came. Lazarus' resurrection revealed the authority of God over the worst powers at work in the world, showed us His glory....Some day His glory will be revealed b/c of this thing we are desperate about. Remember it is because He loves us that He waits. Immediate intervention would abort the far greater thing He has in mind. Trust Him for the greater." E. Elliot .

God sees a bigger picture and He works to that end. In fact, if God didn't care about us, wouldn't it just be easier for Him to just give us everything we wanted? Yes, much like a loving parent He instead gives what we NEED and sometimes takes things from us so that we can be refined and made to be more like Him. Those times are not easy but we have to remember that what we see with our earthly eyes does not define or restrict God! He is working in and around and through all this that we see in order to bring us to a place we cannot see.
Sometimes it is easy to believe what is true about God, that He is loving, merciful and kind and that He sees me. Other times, the decision is more intentional. The great thing though is that when those moments come, and we are weak and having difficulty believing the truth, He is not angry or frustrated with us. No, indeed, He helps us believe. Amazing!! He remembers we are only dust and He has compassion. What mercy. What grace. Choose to believe that He is who is says He is. If the choice is difficult today, just go to God and tell Him so. Go as you are, He will accept you and love you there.

"Something I am going through today looks like a rough valley. It is not only that, it is, in the hand of God, a way out, a passage to a better place, a gateway to glory." E. Elliot

Lord, let there be, in my heart, rest instead of worry. Let there be belief instead of doubt. Let there be trusting instead of wavering. Let this be the refining, like that of silver, and may I, in the end of this road, be purified. Lord, help me to do this well.

Sunday

2007-09-16T17:41:00.001-07:00

Brian and I had a great day today. First of all, the weather was awesome! It actually felt a little fall-ish today. I love it! We went to Sunday School and to church and both were wonderful. Our teacher has been teaching on the attributes of God. It's an interesting study and our teacher is interesting to listen to. We went home after picking up some lunch and took a very needed nap. You HAVE to take a nap on Sunday-- it's the unspoken rule! We got up and even though we were running late, we headed back to church for our small group with the Sunday School class. We're going through a financial planning lesson right now. It's a study that Dave Ramsey has done. He is a financial "guru" who is a Christian so his study is based on Christian principles. It's been good so far. I'm going to try to read his book and see if I can learn some things about our finances. Brian would be so proud! But we really had a good time hanging out afterwards, eating dinner with the friends we've made in the class. It's difficult to get to know people sometimes, especially when you only see them once a week for a limited amount of time. But we've continued to go to small group and I feel like we've finally broken through past that time of just getting to know each other and now we're able to sort of go to the next level in conversation which is great! I've really enjoyed getting to know the people in our class, and we're forming some good friendships there. So now we're back at home and Brian is watching his Yankees game so he's a happy boy. He loves those Yankees!
We're hoping to get our documents back from California this week and send them out soon to the agency. We'll keep our fingers crossed!

Travis Cottrell - In Christ Alone

2007-09-14T20:08:00.001-07:00

I wanted to share this song with everyone. I first heard it during one of our first visits to the church we go to now. We had just come out of a difficult season, our second miscarriage, and the words to this song ministered to me in such a deep way. They still do. It is the Gospel message, the message of hope and peace. The truth of the Gospel is that we are loved and completely accepted by God through Jesus' death on the cross. Our struggles and sin no longer define us, and we do not have to fear or feel guilty because of our sin. He is our Comforter and He is the Giver of Peace. When I hear the words to this song, or the gospel message preached, I am just reminded that in God alone is our hope. I don't have to worry about the future and what it holds. He is the One in control here and always has been. I can fall back and let go because He is trustworthy. "I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord...plans to give you a future and a hope."

I hope you all enjoy it, and that it reminds you of all that Christ has done for us to allow us to stand before God guiltless and righteous..... How awesome!! I can't help but feel better when I think about that!

(If the website music continues to play when you start the video, just scroll to the bottom of your screen until you see "sonific songspot" on the right side. Then click "pause".)

The Office

2007-09-12T19:31:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not referring to the new show on television, although it is HILARIOUS. I'm referring to my new place of employment. This time however I'm wielding rubber gloves and a sponge instead of a pen and paper. Yes, I am officially a janitor!! Well, we like to refer to me as the "cleaning staff"! Brian decided he was going to replace the former cleaning lady around the same time I was applying for jobs. I had applied for a couple and never heard back from them. I really just wanted something for this period of waiting, something that would bring in a little money. When he mentioned that he would be replacing her, I said "I'll do it!". I love to clean so it's really right up my alley. And I was glad to do it b/c every time I'd go to his office I'd find myself cleaning anyway b/c the other girl was not very thorough. So, I go in and clean in the mornings before anyone else arrives. It's quiet and I go at my own pace and I'm finished with work very early. I'm on an every other day kind of rotation. I just love it. I know it sounds a little nutty. Most people would not prefer that type of job. But I find it just perfect for what I was wanting and now, when we go to get the baby, there will be no problem with quitting.....I know the boss. So, thank you Lord for this very befitting job. I prayed very specifically for the best type of job for our situation and I believe that is what I've got!!

On Mistakes

2007-09-11T14:12:00.000-07:00

We did get our documents out to California-finally! They went out Friday "Next Day" so they got them on Saturday. Brian had gone and picked up the cashier's check that we had to include in the package on Wednesday. I realized the next day right before I was heading to the post office, that one of the documents I had put in the package was not supposed to go and unfortunately we had included the $50 for it already in the cashier's check. So I thought I would call the bank to see if we could exchange it for a new one for the correct amount. She said we could, (I am glad we could save that $50, every little bit helps, right?) and she also asked if this was for adoption and I told her it was. She said that both our names needed to be on the check and that we both needed to be there for that. So I am so thankful that I made the error with the amount of the check b/c had I not, I would have sent the check out with only Brian's name on it. They probably would have sent all of our docs back b/c of it! So mistakes are not always "mistakes". As they say, God is in the details. Thank goodness too b/c I'm not always paying close enough attention to the details! So hopefully we will be getting those back next week and can send them out to the agency.

When Love Takes You In - Steven Curtis Chapman

2007-09-10T07:37:00.001-07:00

This is a wonderful song about adoption. He has two adopted daughters from China. I love the words, especially the second verse, "In a moment what was is lost in what will be..". Well said.

The Journey

2007-09-08T12:42:00.000-07:00

In the past few years I have been trying to journal consistently. This year I haven't done so well. But I'm trying to do better. The other day I got out one of my older journals and was reading through some of my entries. It's weird how it immediately takes me back to those emotions I was having at the time. That's what I love about journaling though. I tend to forget what my week was like last week let alone 2 years ago!! It's a great way to see how my thinking has changed or unfortunately sometimes has stayed the same though it needs to change. It's neat to look back at the road we've walked and where it's brought us. I only wish there was a way to see where it was taking us!!!! Wouldn't that be helpful?!? Or maybe not. Maybe that would be a little "scaredy", as my nephew Jack would say.
As I read I just want to scream "thank you" to God for His amazing faithfulness, not just for walking with us through the difficult times we've had but also for teaching us something while in them. You know, it's a hard lesson to learn sometimes, but God is not here to fulfill our every desire and wish. I think if He did that we end up worse off then we were before. He is here to reveal Himself to us so we'll know Him more, so that we'll believe that He is good ALL THE TIME, no matter what He brings into our lives. Sometimes I think I have a learning disability! I should know by now that my plans for my life are not always (not usually) God's plans. I have learned that it is better to have no expectations, although I haven't learned How to do this!! It's so much easier said than done. In one of my journal entries from last year I wrote, "I'm learning more and more that God is not so interested in my plans for things. I think I have great solutions to our problems and tell Him those solutions. I'm sure He's saying to me, 'Well that's okay, Jan. I've got things pretty much covered. I don't really need your solutions!' But still I get disappointed when things don't work out the way that seems easiest. ....I wish I could see the Big Picture. That is not granted to me but what is granted to me is the grace to make the right choice in my thinking and attitude, the grace to choose trust and faith over worry and fear."
I found this great prayer that I think sort of sums up the way I want to think:
"Take from me, O Lord,that self-pity which love of myself so readily produces, and from the frustration of not succeeding in the world as I would naturally desire, for these have no regard for your glory, Rather, create in me a sorrow that is conformable to your own. Let my pains rather express the happy condition of my conversion and salvation . Let me no longer wish for health or life, but to spend it and end it for you, with you, and in you. I pray neither for health nor sickness, life nor death, Rather I pray that you will dispose of my health, my sickness, my life, and my death, as for your glory, for my salvation, for the usefulness to your church and your saints, among whom I hope to be numbered. you alone know what is expedient for me,. You are the Sovereign Master, Do whatever pleases you. Give me or take away from me. Conform my will to yours, and grant that with a humble and perfect submission, and in holy confidence, I may dispose myself utterly to you. May I receive the orders of your everlasting, provident care. May I equally adore whatever proceeds from You." Blaise Pascal
I feel like my thoughts are sort of scattered today so I apologized if this is all over the place and doesn't seem cohesive. I guess what I'm saying is that when I look back I can see God's hand directing and guiding to where we are now. I see that He's been faithful to continue to teach me despite my hard-headedness, and He will continue to guide and teach in His goodness, and He IS good. And this is why He can be trusted even when the road is bumpy and full of curves and I can't see where in the world it's going. I can see, as I look back, that God is in control of it all. It's encouraging to me and it reminds me that I need to let go of the worrying and trying to figure it all out. There is rest in His sovereignty. Peaceful rest.

Shiloh

2007-09-06T07:16:00.000-07:00

I had to write a post about the current baby of the family, Shiloh. Isn't she the cutest?!? Our family knows that we treat her like a baby. Brian says that we pour all of our parental instincts into her. How true. What will she think when we bring the baby home? I hope we'll still make here feel special somehow. This is a great picture of her. I was not feeling well that day and it was as if she knew it and wanted to comfort me. Well, that's how I chose to see it anyhow! She has been the most special blessing and at just the right time. She still makes us laugh at least once a day. Brian wants to get another one, but I'm not sold on that idea yet. I tell him if we move into a bigger house, maybe then we could. But I just can't imagine 2 dogs and a baby in this space we have now. I'm sure it's been done before though. He wants a beagle puppy. I say, let's get a dog that's already potty trained! But the beagle puppies are SO adorable with their long, floppy ears. We'll see. I wasn't sure about getting Shiloh when we did, but Brian proved me wrong and now I can't imagine life without her!

And so we wait....again

2007-09-04T12:48:00.000-07:00

Last week I was able to get all of our 15 documents notarized and certified and actually made it to the Secretary of states office to have them place the Great Seal of Georgia on each one! That was an adventure because I had to go to downtown Atlanta to get that done. I'm not too familiar with downtown, but Brian helped me out with the directions and told me where to park. It wasn't difficult at all! I first had to go to the Fulton County courthouse which is actually within walking distance to the Secretary's office, so it wasn't that big of a deal. But while I was in there, the lady helping asked if we were adopting and from where, so we began to chat. When I got what I needed from her, I crossed the room to get my paperwork together. A man who was seated at a computer there said, "I couldn't help overhearing your conversation about adoption. My wife and I are adopting from Guatemala. We go to get our little girl in November!". It was neat to get to exchange a little bit about our experiences . He then gave me specific directions to the Secretary's office. I'm glad he did too b/c I may have gotten turned around. So all went well, without a hitch. Now I will send all of those documents out to California tomorrow. It should take the Vietnamese Embassy there about 2 weeks to check our documents and to authenticate them. Then they will send them back to us (hopefully there will be won't be any errors for us to correct), and we will send them on to our agency. Once our agency gets them, checks for errors, and translates them, they will send them on to Vietnam. Then all the paperwork will be complete and out of our hands. I can't even imagine what that's going to feel like!

So we'll be waiting for a couple of weeks to hear back from the Embassy. Waiting is hard, huh? Life is full of it. First we can't wait to grow up, then we can't wait to get married, then we can't wait to have kids, and then (from what I've heard) you can't wait til your kids get old enough to do such and such....and the list goes on. Sometimes I feel like I'm wishing time away. And it's speeding along so fast. Jennifer says it well, "the days go by slowly but the years goes by fast". That's so true. We are so excited about this baby and all that parenthood brings, but we need to enjoy the time that is now. God has purpose in this time, in this season and has given us so many blessings to enjoy and be thankful for. I want to make sure I'm not missing them b/c I'm looking and waiting for the next thing.

Seasons

2007-09-02T22:13:00.000-07:00

I just love it when a new season arrives!! It seems I'm always ready for a change when it comes. Right now I am SO ready for the Fall and for cooler weather. But I'm also ready for Fall because it is my absolute favorite of all the seasons! Along with the cool weather it brings breathtaking beauty. I love the fall colors so much that I decorated my house with them! They are such warm and cozy colors. I wanted to surround my everyday life with the colors of the season I love the most. Life has many seasons, too, doesn't it? There are seasons of life that bring the warm, cozy memories and then there are seasons of life that seem cold and hard. They seem to drag on so long that it seems that you'll never see and feel the refreshing feeling of change. The Bible speaks about that. It says there is a time for all things, to laugh, to cry, to mourn, and even a time to dance (Ecc. 3). Brian and I have come out of one of the "colder seasons" of our lives and God has brought us into a new, vibrant one. We are in the process of adopting a little girl from Vietnam. It's a time of excitement, nervousness and anticipation. My sister Jennifer has become an avid blogger and suggested that a blog would be a great way to keep family and friends updated on our progress. So here I go, my first blog! It will be fun to involve friends and family in our journey. I hope everyone will enjoy coming along.